Not much work on today, so drove to the local fishing tackle shop to buy a new lending net; that may seem like something trivial to some but to me it’s amazing as it’s only a month ago that it seemed an impossibility because of my drinking, chronic anxiety and panic attacks. It’s lovely to not feel trapped and that I can go and do something as simple as that. Thank you Dr. and Dr. Ameisen, I feel I’m getting myself back to normal if there is such a thing after all these years... Talking of Dr. Ameisen he did get back to me and said I was lucky to have such a caring and compassionate Dr. I agreed, and he asked if he could speak to my Dr. I said that’s fine by me and gave my Dr. His email address, I have no idea what they have discussed but obviously it’s baclofen, if it’s anything that’s not confidential and can help anyone getting prescribed baclofen by their doctors I shall post it here.
A lazy day today, went fishing in the afternoon and landed one carp about 5lb but the fish was just a bonus, and lovely to be outside. Had a really nice Saturday evening with my partner, started off listening to some CDs I bought the other day and had a couple of drinks indoor’s, then went back to my partners to drop the dog off, from there went to a pub and had 4 pints of bitter then on for a Chinese were i had a chat with the owner and arranged to go and play Hold’em with him this Thursday, Chinese man + poker = Good night. Dose up again today, 230 mg a day.
Another day off today, so went to a boot sale [a load of rubbish] then went to Bournemouth, had a carvery on the way, I had a pint of Stella and then a diet Coke. A bit of TV in the evening and a couple more beers and that’s it, I had loads of beer in the fridge but just couldn’t be bothered to drink them.
It’s obvious we know the baclofen is having an effect, but recently I haven’t been sleeping as well as I first did when taking baclofen, since my jeep has been in the repairers I haven’t been to the gym and I think that maybe causing my restlessness at night but I’m not sure? But due to this lack of sleep I have felt a bit rough in the day and not at all with it. One other thing I have noticed also is a numbness and mild pain in my arms and hands, is this another side effect of the baclofen or is it something else?
So to recap on possible side effects,
2. Lack of breath, mainly lying down at during sleep at night.
3. Pains and a general aching in my arms, although this may not related to baclofen.
An up and down day work wise, went to bed about 1.30 and that’s a bit earlier than normal lately, and slept quite well, no beer and woke up feeling fresh.
Another good day as far as not drinking is concerned, had a sleep in the afternoon as felt shattered, but no beer again. Back to the gym this evening as I got my jeep back. I sent Dr. Ameisen another email again today as over the last couple of days I have felt slightly nauseous and I think it may be the baclofen, I basically asked if I had to take the maximum amount of baclofen in regard to my body weight as he did to suppress my alcohol cravings completely? Because if I’m feeling nauseous on 230 mg I could be feeling really terrible on 600 mg and it had been bothering me. I can confirm that it is not an absolute necessity I have to take this amount as he has advised me that it is impossible to know which patient needs what dose as everyone is individual; so I could get to taking 300 mg and then come down to half that and see if I stay abstinent, and I need to discuss it with my Dr. which obviously I shall do. So let’s see? As it happens today I did not feel nauseous at all, so maybe it is a phase that passes? One thing’s for sure though and that is I am not struggling to stay off alcohol, I just do not need any more like I used to, I am free from craving in about a month using baclofen.
My beloved Chelsea played tonight and it is the most gutted I have ever felt seeing them lose!
I had 5 pints of Stellar then came home and had a couple of gold label, and a couple of glasses of wine which my partner had left from Saturday evening, but I did feel the need to drown my sorrows. Woke up feeling refreshed, and the nausea has passed so maybe it wasn’t the baclofen after all? Dose up again today I am taking 250 mg , 80 mg in the morning, 80 mg in the afternoon, and 90 mg in the evening.
A bit of tiredness in the afternoon, apart from that no other side effects, the pains I was getting in my arms has subsided as has the nausea, and I’m sleeping better again. My partner came around in the evening and we watched a film, I had 4 cans of San Miguel, and 4 gold label, on this occasion I felt like I could continue drinking but I didn’t, and I had drunk what I did over the course of an evening and not 8 cans of gold label in an hour and ½ so still and improvement. Although I must mention the alcohol I have consumed over the last couple of days does not have the same impact it use too, I don’t enjoy it like I used to as it’s not serving any purpose like relaxing me or stopping the craving as a result of the heavy drinking the night before, drinking seems pointless.
A busy day today with one thing or another, after yesterday’s result of me wanting to drink more than necessary I thought I’d give myself a test. I was going to get my hair cut and I had always had a beer before I went in there due to my anxiety and as usual always drunk until unconscious after. So today I had a can of San Miguel as I wanted to see if it triggered me to start drinking in the evening or after my hair cut especially as it had drank on the last 2 evenings. . The result, I didn’t drink any more nor did I have the craving to and I had beers in the house, that is another big result.
Another busy day today, started doing some diy on a house I have. Then went to the gym, come back, had a roast, played some online poker and watched a bit of TV, no beer no cravings no hassle. Also I had an idea, I think I’m going to print myself some T-shirts, I love baclofen, I need baclofen, baclofen saved my life and so on, then I think I’m going to sell them online and try and raise some money for research into baclofen and addiction. You think about it, if we charged £9.99 for every T-shirt, less expenses to print, post and obviously for the T-shirt that comes to about £4.00 so for every T-shirt it’s a profit of about £6.00, so if we sell 1000 it’s obviously £6000 in profit to donate, and if we sell 10,000 that’s obviously £60,000 to donate, if everybody in England or indeed the world that had an addiction problem or knew someone that had an addiction problem bought the T-shirt/s that could give a massive amount of money to fund a clinical trial/s. Because we already know are and are aware that baclofen works we can be pretty sure that the clinical trial will give us a positive result. This then obviously will raise the issue in the UK and the rest of the world that Dr. Ameisen was indeed correct that the use of baclofen is an effective form of treatment in addiction cases and should be considered seriously by your G P’s. And so will give addicts and their friends and family something positive to aim for. I am so positive in the successful results baclofen can give addicts in staying abstinent I am willing to give this a go and organise it. I have no idea about the legalities of this sort of thing and have no idea how much a clinical trial costs and I could be totally talking out my harris, but it’s an idea on creating recognition in the uses that baclofen has for addiction, if anyone has any views please e-mail me.
I went to Bournemouth today and had a carvery on the way back, had 1 pint of Stellar with my meal and nothing else [alcohol] all day. I find it amazing that after struggling for 16 years with an alcohol problem, in under six weeks I have become a responsible drinker with absolutely no effort on my part all due to baclofen. I never thought it possible for me to be in this free from craving alcohol state. Dose up again today I’m on 270 mg the same dose that Dr. Ameisen took to stop his alcohol addiction. Remember I said I am a lot bigger than him so I may need to take a lot more yet though.
A really busy day, gym in the evening, but I just could not get to sleep at night, it’s so noisy here with the window open it’s unbelievable! At 5.00 AM I drank six cans of beer, 3 San Miguel and 3 gold label, ******* idiot. I text my partner as soon as I had started drinking them and when she read it in the morning she thought why didn’t I have a hot chocolate? I did laugh when she told me, why didn’t I have a hot chocolate? I did go to sleep after them though.
I done an experiment today the same experiment that Dr. Ameisen done with the vodka when he was using baclofen. Basically I bought a bottle of vodka and consumed all of it as I wanted to see if I was craving alcohol the next day.
The results of my experiment. I’ve always wanted to say this and I can safely say “Don’t try this at home” I woke up with a severe hangover as I hadn’t been used to drinking so much, by the afternoon I was clucking beer and had 1, I was anxious all afternoon and I felt in a daze, my anxiety heightened late afternoon to almost panic attack, I felt totally unreal and really depressed and it brought back all the memories of when I was drunk and controlled by alcohol. The ironic thing is as I was drinking I realized I didn’t even enjoy it and it seemed an effort to get it down, and all to feel rough the next day.
Conclusion, having an unnecessary binge up is pointless and will promote cravings the following day. I don’t have to drink using my baclofen and I’m not going to, I have tested the boundaries and it’s a no go for recovering addicts. I shall have a couple of beers tonight and get back to what has become the usual of not drinking and not being dependent
A much better day today, back to normal after my stupid experiment. No beers! Or any other alcohol today, didn’t sleep too bad but not great but still feel better than I did. Do you know it really made me think doing that experiment that I could be quite happy never being drunk again, I don’t mind having the odd beer if I’m going out for something to eat or doing something social but the other day after my experiment I just felt so rough, and it reminded me of when I have landed myself in casualty. I have been in hospital on numerous occasions due to alcohol, I have had pancreatitis on 3 separate occasions and I can confirm this is the worst pain I have ever experienced and was given morphine. Because I was a drinker they assumed that the pancreatitis was down to drinking but they were incorrect. I found out on my third case of suspected pancreatitis that my triglycerides [blood fat] levels were so high that it had been causing my pancreatitis. Unfortunately they found it too late and the damage it had done to my pancreas have given me type 1 diabetes so I’m on insulin. Also I have been admitted after having chronic chest pains, and if it wasn’t a medical condition I was in there for fight injuries I had incurred. Don’t think I just went out starting fights as I didn’t, but nasty bastards say nasty things too innocent people, and being drunk and thinking I was invincible has lead to people taking liberties with me in my inebriated state when I confronted them, and in hindsight there is no way I should have confronted them in the state I was in but I was never sober enough for long enough to do it any other way. After my experiment it has only encouraged me to steer clear of alcohol, and I have decided I’m going to have another fight but this is with my weight and my fitness. I’m going to eat healthy and start a training regime, the last time I weighed myself on one of those digital scales you get in health stores I was 19 stone 13 with my clothes and trainers and I had just eaten, and my body mass index was about 38. I haven’t weighed myself since and that was about a month ago and I have been swimming regularly and my diet hasn’t been to bad so maybe I have lost some weight already due to the fact I’m not drinking alcohol in the volume I used to do? But I’m going to do some high intensity interval training and put being fat, drunk and stupid to bed once and for all.
A long day today, had to do some more Diy and then got finished about 8.00 PM. Did go to the gym though and weighed myself, as I got on the scales I noticed them quaking in fear then they bellowed out “1 at a time please” I’m 19 stone 10lbs. My aim is to get down to around 13 stone as this was what I weighed when I done Muay Thai; Although losing 3 or 4 stone is the first target. No beer.
A busy day today doing stuff online. No beer again and going to the gym tonight. Started my diet today also, doing the fat loss 4 idiots weight loss programme, I had done it before and it definitely worked but I was always drinking then so could never really stick to it, so let’s see how it does???
I have a new training program ready to start on Monday to go alongside it. As long as I stay on the regime I should lose some weight in a month? No beer again today and certainly no cravings. I spoke to my Dr. the other day and discussed my dose. We have decided to up the dose once more, I am now on 300 mg and I’m going to stay on that dose for a month and then start to reduce it to a level that keeps me abstinent.
I felt quite sleepy and lethargic today, had a sleep in the afternoon and another sleep before I went to the gym, but it’s a nice feeling, very relaxed, absolutely no cravings for beer. Had a curry in the evening with my partner, she had Chicken Vindaloo, I had chicken Shashlik as it was the only one I could have that fitted in with my diet, no beer once again. So in six weeks I am in total control of my alcohol problem, I done an experiment that confirmed it has become an effort to drink alcohol whilst using baclofen, although it gave me cravings the next day I was able to completely stop drinking the day after. This is a dream come true I can’t believe it, my Dr. Has saved me from the bone yard that’s for sure! I used to think I was going to die from alcohol related illnesses at around 50 maximum and I thought at least I shall be out of my misery! I can now actually see myself living my life free from craving and doing the things I’ve always wanted to do and living my life on my terms.
It amazes me, I get so many emails from people in desperate situations as I was whose doctors are just not interested in even listening to their patients regarding baclofen let alone prescribing it. I am a living example that baclofen works for alcohol addiction at least, and I do not understand why they will not give their patients at least the chance to beat this terrible illness? They have so much to gain an absolutely nothing to lose. It is obviously a safe drug, I’m on 300 mg, 30 mg more than Dr. Ameisen took to cure his addiction and the only real side effect I have had its somnolence, at one stage I felt slightly nauseous, and I have had the deep breathing issues when asleep but by no means have these been unbearable side effects, and the nausea feeling I think was to do with combining alcohol and baclofen. The fact is my Dr. Believed in it and me and he was right, I really think he has started the ball rolling for everyone else and I think other doctors will come around due to my doctor’s actions.
A good day today, I went swimming about midday, then I had to go and let an electrician in, done some work had asleep about 6.00 PM and then went swimming again. I didn’t feel as lethargic as I have been so I should be able to start my training regime next Monday once my body has adjusted. 300 mg seems to be the perfect dose at the moment as I have no alcohol cravings at all, of course I have the stresses and strains of everyday life but where normally I have reached for a beer, that doesn’t really come into the equation anymore.
Got up and went swimming late morning as I had to go to Southampton after that and then got informed I didn’t have to go at all so a wasted journey. Done a bit of work in the afternoon and felt really lethargic again very early evening, had a snooze and went swimming again. Before when I was drinking this was just not reality to go to the gym in the morning and evening as my anxiety levels were always extreme. The baclofen has reduced my anxiety which was the initial cause of my alcoholism; this in turn has given me the ability to do everyday things.
Good day doing all different things, and before I knew it its 6.00 PM, went to the gym about 8.45 and done 50% more swimming than normal. Come back and had a salad, and I think I’ll have a game of poker later. This week has gone so quick it’s shocking, I’ve stuck to my diet, been going to the gym more and not a beer in sight. More importantly this is all coming naturally, I don’t have to try and not have a beer, I just don’t think about it the way I used to. It makes me realise what a vicious circle I was in and how lucky I was to have a Dr. I have. It makes me wonder if someone’s going to come along and take it all away from me? That’s it Chris no more baclofen for you, your Dr. was wrong to help you! I don’t think I could bear that at all.
Swimming before I started work this afternoon, an up and down day. Swimming again in the evening, and I think I may have a day off and go fishing Saturday. Apart from that very quiet.
Another pretty non eventful day, my diet is doing my head in though, today all I can eat is salad with cheese on it, but in another 3 days I get to eat what I like for 3 days, thank **** for that. This is one boring diet that’s for sure! Tomorrow marks 10 days without beer and I’ve had no cravings whatsoever, my body is having such a deserved rest and god knows what my liver thinks has happened? A week or so before I started my baclofen I had a test done on my liver amongst other tests as I had been getting chest pains, it gave a reading of 230, and it should have been a maximum of 30! The Dr. That examined me said that this is only going to get much worse from here and reminded me of George Best. That’s when I really started to research baclofen and contacted my Dr. Regarding the treatment. Lately I’ve wondered what that liver test it is now since I’ve reduced my alcohol intake so much since taking my miracle cure?
I had a day off today, no work no training, my body needs a rest as my muscles actually ache. I did drive to the lake to go fishing but it’s a long weekend and it’s sunny so it’s packed down there and to be honest this particular Lake I went to isn’t that picturesque! In fact it’s almost ugly, a man made fishing complex; strangely I realized it’s the first time I have ever been down there without alcohol in my veins so maybe I just saw it in a different light. As I write I’ve decided I’m not going to go there anymore, there is plenty of fish there but it’s just far too unnatural. I went to the country club instead where I go training and read a book in the sun. I did buy some beer today actually some cider, as I thought it’s a nice day to have a beer in the sun but I didn’t have one, not because I felt I was letting myself down or anything like that, it just didn’t turn out like that. Amazing!
An uncomfortable night, really hot and sticky and I just couldn’t get to sleep, nodded off around 4.00 AM up at 8.30 then back to sleep about 9.30 until about midday. Got finished early and took my partners dog out for a walk on the coast, I really enjoyed it but it seems 300 mg of baclofen produces sporadic bouts of somnolence as I was shattered after. Also a couple of other people including my partner have said what’s up and that I sound really unhappy. I have explained I am fine but obviously something in my voice makes them think otherwise. I think it is that I am just so relaxed on 300 mg to the extent that I must come across a bit unenthusiastic and I do feel slightly foggy. When I think about it I can understand what they mean, there is no urgency in me at the moment although I am ecstatic that I’m controlling my drinking it probably just doesn’t come out like that at the moment due to the high dose. I've only got about another 3 weeks on this high dose and then I start to decrease my dose back to around 150 mg or a dose that keeps me abstinent. So in my view it [somnolence] is an incredibly small price to pay for such a life changing result.
A quiet day, nothing at all happening on the work front and the T-shirts hasn’t really taken off, in an ideal world doing something with food [chef] or dogs is something I am interested in. Now I seem to have my drinking in control the world is my oyster once again so I am thinking seriously about these areas for financial gain and enjoyment. Swimming again today afternoon and evening, still having a bit of somnolence so haven’t started my training regime in earnest yet. Last day of diet.
I can have whatever I like to eat for 3 days as from today and then I’m back on my diet. I had a cheese roll this afternoon and it sent my blood sugar soaring. Went to the gym in the evening and weighed myself, I haven’t lost any weight if anything I have put on 3lb! I couldn’t ******* believe it, all that training and boring meals for **** all! But I’m not going to give up, I’m still going to go to the gym as I’ve really enjoyed that since I’ve not been drinking. I thought that just not drinking should have helped me to lose weight even if I didn’t go to the gym? But obviously not. I’m going to try just having salad and lean meat for lunch and dinner and only snack on fruit, and also have a breakfast cereal every morning. I may not have lost any weight but I feel so much better.
Today marks 14 days without beer and not only that I haven’t craved for it at all! I cannot remember the last time I went that long without alcohol? I’m pretty sure it’s got to be years and years ago. Now ironically the plan tonight is to watch a film, have a takeaway and have a couple of normal strength beers as I had finished my diet. I have done this and to be honest they have made me feel very nauseous, I’m not sure whether it’s a reaction to the baclofen and the high dose? But I have had 3 and that’s enough! I haven’t enjoyed them at all! So it looks like baclofen really has cured me to the extent that I don’t even get pleasure from alcohol anymore!
Quite a busy day today, I made a spicy Thai soup for lunch, very nice. I am still amazed at how rough I felt yesterday after having a couple of beers and I can confirm I actually vomited, I felt so rough I didn’t even take my last dose of baclofen. More surprisingly I woke this morning and felt fine. I must say that at 300 mg that’s enough for me, if it isn’t the somnolence I have felt nauseous. So I’m glad my Dr. decided to cap it at 300 mg. That’s one huge bonus I have had with the help of my Dr. Is that I can discuss openly with him the dosage and this is what any of you that are buying it from the Internet don’t have the advantage of, so decide on a plan and stay on it and be careful if you are going the solo route. Obviously no beer today and certainly no cravings for it.
It’s such a lovely day today I’m going out and giving any work a miss. We ended up going to Bournemouth and go to a pub to watch my beloved Chelsea in the FA cup final and then go for a look round the shops. The boys done it in style and even if you don’t support Chelsea we deserve that at least this season. I actually had a couple of pints of diet coke, yes I did say coke, as I didn’t even fancy a beer, me in a pub watching football drinking non alcoholic drinks, amazing.
Quiet night tonight, may go fishing in the morning.
I went to the health club this afternoon and sun bathed in the grounds. Swimming pool inside was closed due to an electrical fault so I couldn’t go swimming, there's a outside swimming pool but it was packed, but the weather was lovely so it made a change. I took a Thai cookbook with me and my partner came down and we went for a curry after. Another quiet night tonight, played some more poker, I’m getting quite good I think, more or less always finish in the top 3 and the money, even though it’s for fun and fun credit.