Tuesday 11 August 2009

August.

02/08/09
So our friends come over Friday evening and I cooked a Thai meal, managed to get through the whole night easily, I drank four bottles of stellar so just over 2 pints. To be honest they weren’t or didn’t taste like, “god what have I been missing” they were just beers! And I drank them to be sociable. And I didn’t drink anything Saturday although I may have had a craving but I’m not sure? But I had my baclofen on me and took three to be on the safe side. Drove a lot over the weekend and that helped my partner out as she was always driving before I started baclofen. Since my reduction in dosage I feel much better and things have become much easier for me in regard to side effects. I can function normally again and feel totally confident in the treatment once more.

03/08/09
I was going to work today but I decided against it as I had loads of personal chores to do. Also I decided not to quit my sports trading and I’m going to keep going as I’m sure that’s where the money is??? I’ve got quite a lot on with a guy whose information products I’ve been selling for some years and that may really help financially. No beer today and no cravings.

04/08/09
I had a day off today but unfortunately my partner had no motor due to an electronic key problem so our plans stopped there, so a very quiet and uneventful day. No beer and had no cravings.

07/08/09
A quiet couple of days for me, been over at my partners generally taking it easy. Absolutely no beers and no cravings although one thing I have noticed is that I keep breaking out in cold sores. When I use to drink I use to get them as obviously I was running my body down but I never got them as bad as I get them now. Is it the baclofen and another side effect of them? I really think it is as I have never had them with such consistency; it’s got to the stage that as one is clearing up another one is appearing. My diet is good and I’m obviously not drinking yet something is causing these continuous outbreaks? Maybe my immune system is affected by the baclofen and this is causing the repeated occurrence of cold sores? Shall look into this. On 130 mg 50 mg in emergencies although I still haven’t used this.

11/08/09
I had a few more days off over the weekend not because I needed them just because I could take them. I didn’t do anything spectacular but I have enjoyed the free time. No beer at all and no cravings even though my partner drinks red wine regularly. It still amazes me that after all the years trying to cure my alcoholism I eventually done it using a drug that has been available for 30 years or more. I have enjoyed just not drinking and been sober considering for months ago I was stil
l an alcoholic.

14/08/09
So the weekend is upon us again and I really do notice how quick a week passes since I’ve been sober, or is it just me? My friend is doing a book signing in London on Saturday so we are going to that and then doing the London thing as my partner loves it, personally I don’t but I do enjoy showing my partner around. My nephew was due to come down today but unfortunately he has a bug and is out of action for a couple of days. Another 14 days have passed since my last beer and that’s when our friends come over from Canada and I cooked a Thai meal; I had four bottles of Stella to be sociable but could have easily gone without. Still on 130 mg, may look to reduce again very soon as I want to get to the minimum dose that keeps me abstinent, although I have been comfortable on this dose.


16/08/09
A good weekend, got up late on Saturday and then went to the pub to watch Chelsea, luckily they got a late goal and took the three points; all that beer around and I didn’t even fancy one, in fact it puts me off drinking seeing others do it, I honestly have totally changed my views on drinking altogether, I did not intend to aim for this it just happened? My partner and I worked out my average alcohol units consumed when I use to drink heavily, gold label is either 3.2 or 3.5 units of alcohol each can, some days I could drink eight, some days double that, so we averaged it to around 10 cans a day... So let’s be really conservative and account for the odd day I didn’t drink and say gold label is 3.0 units of alcohol each can. Obviously that equals 30 units a day or 840 units a month... Fucking ridiculous is what that is but amazingly I’m still here??? Now when I was drinking I never used a look at it like that because I didn't or couldn’t face the facts? All I knew is that I needed desperately to stop drinking but I just didn’t know how or even if I could. But if you’ve been reading my blog you will know I beat my alcoholism with baclofen, a good Dr., and determination... Oh, and last month I consumed all of 8 units.


20/08/09
I had taken the last three days off and I have been at my partners so no updates, although she has broadband as from yesterday so I can update as usual every evening. I have been suffering with a bit of a bug since the weekend, initially I thought it just a cold but it seems to be lingering, my partner is the same and we wondered if we had a bit of swine flu? Yesterday we went to a big health club/complex, I had a look at the kickboxing class but it was very basic; my partner went swimming and I was amazed how good her breast stroke was, obviously we have been swimming before but never in a gym where you just do lengths. I had a lot of anxiety yesterday and was close to taking my extra dose of baclofen although I didn’t. I don’t know where it come from? But I wasn’t as relaxed as normal. Its three weeks since my last drop of alcohol and no cravings since then, yesterday was the first day during those three weeks that I could [maybe?] Have reached for one when I was in the motor on the motorway, but honestly don’t think I could have let myself down that much; also I had some baclofen on me and took some there and then and that done the job, and I realized immediately just how much I do not need alcohol.


24/08/09
I have a virus... Bloody marvellous, do you remember I said I kept getting cold sores? I thought it to be the baclofen but I think my body has been lacking some good old vitamin C. I am diabetic and since I have stopped drinking I have been very partial to a bit off sugar thinking along the lines of, not drinking so sugar must be ok, bad mistake. All the sugar has been depleting any vit C I had in me and the cold sores were trying to tell me I was run down but I didn’t listen and I thought it another side affect of the Baclofen. So I think I have realised the cause of my cold sores and this virus??? And shall concentrate on getting my diet sorted.
My partner and I went to Portsmouth on Saturday, but I had a severe sore throat so we came back early. Sunday I was really rough and didn’t even watch the football. Obviously no beer and Friday marks 1 month alcohol free.


25/08/09
Still rough today although a bit better, a cough has come on though. During this virus i have still taken my baclofen regularly 130mg. If you read the posts you can see that Thistle is of the baclofen because she/he didn't think it a cure and didn't/couldn't handle the side effects, and I'm still on it because it's cured my addiction totally; horses for courses i suppose?

26/08/09
Coughed my balls of last night so not much sleep and kept my partner awake also, didn't feel great today but managed to go to supermarket. A good month work wise and some good stuff coming up to keep me financially optimistic. I'm going to see Chelsea play Saturday so hope I'm better by Friday and am i going to have a beer? I doubt it as i don't fancy it especially after feeling rough but you never know i suppose. Obviously no beers today and remember Friday is a month since my last drop and i have had no cravings during that period; So a chance to say thank you to my Dr for making this possible and prescribing me baclofen and Dr. A for making baclofen recognized as a solution for alcohol addiction; also thank you to everyone else that has read my blog and kept me going through the difficult patches and giving me a reason to be strong and keep blogging including those that have sent private emails and the good old Anonymous Dr. Thanks to my Mum for all the tears that eventually got through. My biggest thanks to my loving partner that has been my rock through it all and showed me that i really could do it, she has had faith in me when others only doubted me, and love that kept me going when i could have given up, and if she hadn't found that article all those months ago {March 2009} God only knows where I'd be ??? So thank you my dear ****** you are my life, my soul, my everything, XxXx.


27/08/09
Still rough so going to Dr's in the morning, shall report back the results.

31/08/09
Dr. done a couple of tests and seemed un phased by my illness so i guess I'm OK, or i hope i am as i still have this bug/virus??? Chelsea on Saturday and no beer... Amazing i still cant believe it myself actually. Quiet last couple of days and seriously wondering if this bug is just that or something else? As i cant remember ever having a cold/ virus this long and it's got me concerned.