06/12/09
I am here. If I am brutally honest I haven’t updated for a couple of reasons. My first reason is I bought myself a puppy around a year ½ after I lost my last beloved best friend, and she really has had me running round like a blue bottle with the runs. The second reason is she chewed through my headphones and mic and that gave me a good excuse to have a rest from work and everything else until my replacement arrived [yes it did take that long]. I haven’t had any alcohol or any cravings since my last post and I really thought the Christmas period was going to get me considering my options regarding alcohol, like shall I have one? Can I have one? But it hasn’t bothered me at all. It’s so amazing that I have managed to conquer the beast that ruled my life for so long, I am so happy and I’m so looking forward to spending Christmas with my loved ones and family sober. Spitfire1,good to hear that everything is working out so well for you.
14/12/09
I really must get into the habit of updating the blog regularly once again as week to week is not enough for really. So Christmas is nearly upon us and its going to be five months for me without a drop of alcohol. My partner and I were discussing my progress since March as that was when I really had decided to try and beat alcohol once and for all. I manage to do it although it wasn’t easy, but I have come out the other side and I’ve even been able to help the odd person along the way. If I had a choice of winning the lottery or giving up drinking there is only one choice to take, and that’s the lottery... Being serious now it’s obviously alcohol absolutely no doubt in me. I realise now how much easier things are to deal with without alcohol, alcohol was a demon to me that lied to me every day and I think I knew it even though I just couldn’t give it up love or money. So back to March, if my partner hadn’t read the paper article, if I hadn’t been so drunk that I was in casualty again, if Dr. Ameisen hadn’t tested the treatment on himself first to discover the benefits of baclofen, if Dr. Ameisen hadn’t been all over the press and on TV, if Dr. Ameisen’s biography hadn’t been about to be published in English, if I hadn’t had the drunken brawls that had been brought to my own doctor’s attention, and if my own Dr. wasn’t as brave and compassionate as he is, god only knows where I might be? And remember more amazingly I have given up alcohol without any cravings.
21/12/09
So it’s almost Christmas and I have managed to do most of my shopping online as always. My partner had just called me to tell me that she had been in her car for 20 minutes waiting to get out of a car park in Southampton, unbelievable. No beers for me and I still can’t seem to imagine myself drinking sensibly for some reason or other? I can picture myself sipping a brandy and being all reserved, and then there’s this other thought of the animal drinker in me and that really puts me off. So I’m really not sure if I’m going to have one??? If I want one and it feels right I shall have one but I’m really not that bothered, in fact I’m not bothered at all.
30/12/09
So Christmas came and went but I had a good day. The closest I got to an alcoholic beverage was the brandy on the Christmas pudding. As always or I find anyway Boxing Day was an anticlimax compared to Christmas day. But everyone enjoyed the Christmas festivities in general and my partner managed quite well considering she was entertaining my family and hers. So as the year draws to an end I feel totally positive about staying abstinent from alcohol. Shall do another update Thursday.
Sunday 6 December 2009
Sunday 1 November 2009
November.
01/11/09
Over at my partners at the weekend, didn’t do too much but did make some money and recovered some of my losses. In Southampton on Saturday but I couldn’t wait to get back as it was absolutely packed. Shall do a proper update on Monday.
05/11/09
Sometimes I forget its November as I am still wearing my shorts. Another thing that occurred to me is that normally in the winter months I tended to hibernate; I used to drink late into the night and got up as late as possible, but this year it’s going to be different because I don’t drink any more. I have never really liked the winter evenings but this is going to be an experience that I actually remember unlike other years. So I am ready to embrace the coming months and experience what they have to offer with a sober head. I drove to Christchurch today and it amazed my partner and me as I haven’t driven that far on my own in years. Once you have given up drinking simple experiences never seem to stop amazing you. Well done to those people that have managed to get baclofen from their doctors, one lady said that she had the courage to consult her Dr. After reading my blog, and another lady decided to get baclofen privately as her Dr. Refused to prescribe it and she is now having one drink out of her bottle and leaving the rest, and she has said this is something she's never done before.
09/11/09
I am getting ready to move back to my house and out of my studio flat so that’s something very positive for November. To be honest renting out my house has been hard work and the tenants I find quite irritating all apart from the odd one here and there so I hope renting out the studio flat is going to be less of a pain in the rear. No beers or anything and I’m enjoying the autumn for what it is.
I am back online obviously; it’s amazing how much you miss broadband when you haven’t got it and I wondered how I ever managed before? I moved back to my house and it’s nice to have some space again after living in the studio. My mum came down yesterday to my partners and I checked back on my blog and I haven’t seen her since Easter. I haven’t had any beer and it’s almost four months. I have to remember that if I wanted to drink socially I could but I have just chosen not to at the moment, I say at the moment because one day I may be able to drink responsibly but if I think about drinking at the moment I can only see the addicted to alcohol Chris and it makes me cringe.
Over at my partners at the weekend, didn’t do too much but did make some money and recovered some of my losses. In Southampton on Saturday but I couldn’t wait to get back as it was absolutely packed. Shall do a proper update on Monday.
05/11/09
Sometimes I forget its November as I am still wearing my shorts. Another thing that occurred to me is that normally in the winter months I tended to hibernate; I used to drink late into the night and got up as late as possible, but this year it’s going to be different because I don’t drink any more. I have never really liked the winter evenings but this is going to be an experience that I actually remember unlike other years. So I am ready to embrace the coming months and experience what they have to offer with a sober head. I drove to Christchurch today and it amazed my partner and me as I haven’t driven that far on my own in years. Once you have given up drinking simple experiences never seem to stop amazing you. Well done to those people that have managed to get baclofen from their doctors, one lady said that she had the courage to consult her Dr. After reading my blog, and another lady decided to get baclofen privately as her Dr. Refused to prescribe it and she is now having one drink out of her bottle and leaving the rest, and she has said this is something she's never done before.
09/11/09
I am getting ready to move back to my house and out of my studio flat so that’s something very positive for November. To be honest renting out my house has been hard work and the tenants I find quite irritating all apart from the odd one here and there so I hope renting out the studio flat is going to be less of a pain in the rear. No beers or anything and I’m enjoying the autumn for what it is.
10/11/09
A quick update on something unrelated to baclofen and alcohol, today marks 3 years since my last cigarette.
14/11/09
Another quick update actually, I’m in the process of moving and will not have any broadband until the 19th as from Monday so shall update again as soon as I can or is possible. Almost 4 months without a beer.
23/11/09
I am back online obviously; it’s amazing how much you miss broadband when you haven’t got it and I wondered how I ever managed before? I moved back to my house and it’s nice to have some space again after living in the studio. My mum came down yesterday to my partners and I checked back on my blog and I haven’t seen her since Easter. I haven’t had any beer and it’s almost four months. I have to remember that if I wanted to drink socially I could but I have just chosen not to at the moment, I say at the moment because one day I may be able to drink responsibly but if I think about drinking at the moment I can only see the addicted to alcohol Chris and it makes me cringe.
Monday 5 October 2009
October.
05/10/09
My sincere apologies for the very late post, I have been so busy with one thing or another and to be honest I don’t have that much to say regarding baclofen every day. In the beginning and when it was new I could update every day but now it’s harder to do that. So I’m going to update a couple of times a week maximum and try to make them longer posts. I have reduced my dose to again today by 20 mg and I am now on 100 mg and 50 mg in emergencies. I am aiming to get down to around 70 mg and 50 mg in emergencies. I have still been getting cold sores and that obviously means my body is run down or has been so I am wondering [again] if it has been the baclofen or is it something else? Also I have noticed that since I lowered my dose today I did actually feel slightly more energetic during the day and evening but obviously I need to find a happy medium that stops any beer cravings and anxiety, but keeps me mentally active. As with anything your body sort of accepts how it feels and so do you and you notice a difference when you stop taking something. Baclofen to me has been a godsend but I want to get it down to the bare minimum that keeps me abstinent. That’s another good thing about keeping a blog, I can go back and see how I was feeling on a certain dosage. So if you are thinking about or are using baclofen it may be an idea to keep a diary.
12/10/09
A long week of work since I last posted, and stayed at my partners at the weekend. No beers anywhere and no cravings on 100mg so shall look to lower my dose again soon. I have yet another cold, and I am taking tablets to prevent the cold sores but something still seems to be running me down or at least battering my immune system? I have been going to the gym regularly but I am still not losing any weight really? So I have started doing some other training to see if that can aid me? Apart from that my partner and I have been quite positive and I can see us doing well very soon, especially as I no longer rely on alcohol.
28/10/09
I have gone almost 3 months without a beer and my dose is 90 mg at the moment. One day last week was the first time I can ever remember fancying a beer in that period, and that was due to losing some money but I didn’t have one and immediately took 50 mg of baclofen. Also one other thing I have discovered is what was running my immune system down, I had been taking night nurse quite regularly to sleep and one evening I noticed a pain in my kidney after taking it, so I looked up online side effects of night nurse and LO and behold you should not take night nurse if you are taking baclofen. How amazing, out of all the drugs in the world it listed baclofen. So I have stopped taking it and my immune system has obviously started to work properly again as I have had no cold sores or cold symptoms and I feel much better generally.
My sincere apologies for the very late post, I have been so busy with one thing or another and to be honest I don’t have that much to say regarding baclofen every day. In the beginning and when it was new I could update every day but now it’s harder to do that. So I’m going to update a couple of times a week maximum and try to make them longer posts. I have reduced my dose to again today by 20 mg and I am now on 100 mg and 50 mg in emergencies. I am aiming to get down to around 70 mg and 50 mg in emergencies. I have still been getting cold sores and that obviously means my body is run down or has been so I am wondering [again] if it has been the baclofen or is it something else? Also I have noticed that since I lowered my dose today I did actually feel slightly more energetic during the day and evening but obviously I need to find a happy medium that stops any beer cravings and anxiety, but keeps me mentally active. As with anything your body sort of accepts how it feels and so do you and you notice a difference when you stop taking something. Baclofen to me has been a godsend but I want to get it down to the bare minimum that keeps me abstinent. That’s another good thing about keeping a blog, I can go back and see how I was feeling on a certain dosage. So if you are thinking about or are using baclofen it may be an idea to keep a diary.
12/10/09
A long week of work since I last posted, and stayed at my partners at the weekend. No beers anywhere and no cravings on 100mg so shall look to lower my dose again soon. I have yet another cold, and I am taking tablets to prevent the cold sores but something still seems to be running me down or at least battering my immune system? I have been going to the gym regularly but I am still not losing any weight really? So I have started doing some other training to see if that can aid me? Apart from that my partner and I have been quite positive and I can see us doing well very soon, especially as I no longer rely on alcohol.
28/10/09
I have gone almost 3 months without a beer and my dose is 90 mg at the moment. One day last week was the first time I can ever remember fancying a beer in that period, and that was due to losing some money but I didn’t have one and immediately took 50 mg of baclofen. Also one other thing I have discovered is what was running my immune system down, I had been taking night nurse quite regularly to sleep and one evening I noticed a pain in my kidney after taking it, so I looked up online side effects of night nurse and LO and behold you should not take night nurse if you are taking baclofen. How amazing, out of all the drugs in the world it listed baclofen. So I have stopped taking it and my immune system has obviously started to work properly again as I have had no cold sores or cold symptoms and I feel much better generally.
Friday 4 September 2009
September 09
03/09/09
I have still got this cold/virus, unbelievable! I am back at my place at the moment as I have been at my partners constantly for about 10 days so I went to the gym yesterday and today; yesterday I come out and felt OK but today I felt rough again for some reason. I think it’s just one of those illnesses that takes a while to shift. No beers at all.
06/09/09
A non eventful weekend, I went over to my partners but she was working both days. No beer as usual and my virus seems to be going.
07/09/09
I can’t really remember the summer and already autumn is approaching... I shall take a lot from the spring and summer though as it is when I finally beat alcohol using baclofen. I had many ups and downs in that period as you know but I have come out of it more than OK I think ? You have to give it a chance [baclofen] as I did; I was sick to death of being drunk practically every day and having to revolve my life around it and to be honest I think that's what gave me the determination to continue with the baclofen therapy? On reading the post last month Thistle pointed out that it is wrong to put your faith in a tablet that no one knows anything about. Unfortunately I do not agree with Thistle at all on this. If I didn’t put my faith in baclofen or in fact if nobody put their faith in baclofen how could anyone of discovered the possible benefits of using baclofen to treat addiction in the first place??? I am sure baclofen is a cure to addiction as it has CURED ME so what is the point of denying the facts? Yes it had side effects but doesn’t drinking? Yes it made me depressed initially but didn’t drinking regularly? Yes I felt lethargic but I never passed out like when I was drinking. Not only has baclofen stopped me from drinking I can now drive all over the place without having panic attacks, as I can do anything without having a panic attack. Baclofen gave me my life back that alcohol kept from me and I am forever grateful. In regard to nobody knows about baclofen that’s incorrect also as it has been around for 30 years +. And I believe totally that it is A CURE. I am glad you did not need baclofen to cure your addiction Thistle but I did and so will others. So if you are on baclofen or considering please give it a chance.
08/09/09
I forgot to mention what happened at the doctor’s, after doing a test they found I had a skin infection, so I’m not sure if the virus gave me a skin infection or the skin infection gave me a virus? But I got given some antibiotics and have started to feel much better. I have also been looking after my diet a lot more than I did and I do not seem to be getting cold sore outbreaks anymore; Initially I thought all my cold sores and virus and everything else was the baclofen, but obviously not and I’m really happy about it and it seems my body desperately needed some good old vitamin C. Obviously no beers today. Got to weigh myself this weekend, last month on the 10th I weighed 18st 9 so I had lost just over a stone, hopefully I have lost some more?
It’s been really quiet since I last updated and I have been really focused on where I want to go and what I want to do. Initially when you give up drinking it’s almost depressing in itself because you think to yourself, what am I going to do? And you wonder what does a recovering alcoholic do now it’s all over? But to be honest that doesn’t last long and all of a sudden you have found you have adjusted to your new alcohol free life and haven’t really noticed the transition at all. Slowly but surely you just adapt and occupy your life with positive reassuring things. I was discussing with my partner my views about alcohol the other day and I said I just cannot see myself drinking again. I just cannot picture it, it’s like I don’t agree with it anymore personally. My partner still drinks a glass of red wine in the evening but I never wish I could when I see her pouring one, after all the hammering I have given my body I enjoy saying aloud and to myself, I don’t drink any more. As you may have noticed I brightened up the blog, as the other one was too dark, I think it’s a nice change? Also good stuff and congratulations Thistle on your new job.
14/09/09
Another quiet day, I didn’t do any work or sports trading or anything actually apart from walking round the supermarket. But as a rule I don't do too much on Monday work wise anyway. Went to the gym in the evening.
16/09/09
Another uneventful day, went to the gym in the afternoon and evening. I was talking with my partner the other day and we said how I never done anything without a beer; from going to the shops to having dinner absolutely everything revolved around beer. I actually cringe at the thought of it nowadays, emergency beers in every location you can imagine, drinking until you pass out every night, the hangovers, the bad diet, bad stomach, in fact bad everything, but none of it made a difference as long as I had my alcohol. After all that I still find it amazing that I stopped drinking completely and never have even the odd craving.
18/09/09
Stayed over at my partners last night but neither of us could sleep so I feel a bit tired today. Cooking dinner tonight and going to have a nice relaxing couple of days. A lot of football this weekend and some crucial games so that's going to be entertaining. I’m away Sunday as I have a seminar. No beer.
19/09/09
Curry was OK yesterday, I used different rice than I normally use to make the Thai special rice and the result a very light dish whereas I prefer it slightly stodgy as it should be. My partner liked it though. No beer.
21/09/09
I didn’t get back from my seminar until about 8.30 and went straight to the gym. For some reason I did feel very anxious throughout the seminar today? I didn’t get loads of sleep last night so maybe that’s the reason, but I managed without obviously. Also a nice and refreshing change was the fact that once I had got off the train I got into my motor that I had parked at the station and drove home. I understand this is quite normal for most people but it is still a novelty to me at the moment.
24/09/09
I have been going to the gym quite regularly once again and that has been nice. No beers or cravings but I have got another cold sore??? Also my anxiety has levels have dropped again since the seminar. Going to the east end to see some friends on Saturday hopefully.
Reduced my dose to 120 mg. Still have chronic cold sores so I need to analyse what it is I am taking or doing that is running my immune system into the ground. Initially I thought it’s the baclofen but when I was on 300 mg I never use to get them like this.
I have still got this cold/virus, unbelievable! I am back at my place at the moment as I have been at my partners constantly for about 10 days so I went to the gym yesterday and today; yesterday I come out and felt OK but today I felt rough again for some reason. I think it’s just one of those illnesses that takes a while to shift. No beers at all.
06/09/09
A non eventful weekend, I went over to my partners but she was working both days. No beer as usual and my virus seems to be going.
07/09/09
I can’t really remember the summer and already autumn is approaching... I shall take a lot from the spring and summer though as it is when I finally beat alcohol using baclofen. I had many ups and downs in that period as you know but I have come out of it more than OK I think ? You have to give it a chance [baclofen] as I did; I was sick to death of being drunk practically every day and having to revolve my life around it and to be honest I think that's what gave me the determination to continue with the baclofen therapy? On reading the post last month Thistle pointed out that it is wrong to put your faith in a tablet that no one knows anything about. Unfortunately I do not agree with Thistle at all on this. If I didn’t put my faith in baclofen or in fact if nobody put their faith in baclofen how could anyone of discovered the possible benefits of using baclofen to treat addiction in the first place??? I am sure baclofen is a cure to addiction as it has CURED ME so what is the point of denying the facts? Yes it had side effects but doesn’t drinking? Yes it made me depressed initially but didn’t drinking regularly? Yes I felt lethargic but I never passed out like when I was drinking. Not only has baclofen stopped me from drinking I can now drive all over the place without having panic attacks, as I can do anything without having a panic attack. Baclofen gave me my life back that alcohol kept from me and I am forever grateful. In regard to nobody knows about baclofen that’s incorrect also as it has been around for 30 years +. And I believe totally that it is A CURE. I am glad you did not need baclofen to cure your addiction Thistle but I did and so will others. So if you are on baclofen or considering please give it a chance.
08/09/09
I forgot to mention what happened at the doctor’s, after doing a test they found I had a skin infection, so I’m not sure if the virus gave me a skin infection or the skin infection gave me a virus? But I got given some antibiotics and have started to feel much better. I have also been looking after my diet a lot more than I did and I do not seem to be getting cold sore outbreaks anymore; Initially I thought all my cold sores and virus and everything else was the baclofen, but obviously not and I’m really happy about it and it seems my body desperately needed some good old vitamin C. Obviously no beers today. Got to weigh myself this weekend, last month on the 10th I weighed 18st 9 so I had lost just over a stone, hopefully I have lost some more?
09/09/09
Have been practicing my sports trading today, getting the hang of it I think??? I’m going to set my income targets high and do my best to reach them over the next year. A problem I faced in my last couple of years of drinking [really heavy drinking] before the baclofen was that I lost sight of my goals, so now I want to concentrate my energies on my success. No beers today as I don’t drink any more.
13/09/09
It’s been really quiet since I last updated and I have been really focused on where I want to go and what I want to do. Initially when you give up drinking it’s almost depressing in itself because you think to yourself, what am I going to do? And you wonder what does a recovering alcoholic do now it’s all over? But to be honest that doesn’t last long and all of a sudden you have found you have adjusted to your new alcohol free life and haven’t really noticed the transition at all. Slowly but surely you just adapt and occupy your life with positive reassuring things. I was discussing with my partner my views about alcohol the other day and I said I just cannot see myself drinking again. I just cannot picture it, it’s like I don’t agree with it anymore personally. My partner still drinks a glass of red wine in the evening but I never wish I could when I see her pouring one, after all the hammering I have given my body I enjoy saying aloud and to myself, I don’t drink any more. As you may have noticed I brightened up the blog, as the other one was too dark, I think it’s a nice change? Also good stuff and congratulations Thistle on your new job.
14/09/09
Another quiet day, I didn’t do any work or sports trading or anything actually apart from walking round the supermarket. But as a rule I don't do too much on Monday work wise anyway. Went to the gym in the evening.
16/09/09
Another uneventful day, went to the gym in the afternoon and evening. I was talking with my partner the other day and we said how I never done anything without a beer; from going to the shops to having dinner absolutely everything revolved around beer. I actually cringe at the thought of it nowadays, emergency beers in every location you can imagine, drinking until you pass out every night, the hangovers, the bad diet, bad stomach, in fact bad everything, but none of it made a difference as long as I had my alcohol. After all that I still find it amazing that I stopped drinking completely and never have even the odd craving.
18/09/09
Stayed over at my partners last night but neither of us could sleep so I feel a bit tired today. Cooking dinner tonight and going to have a nice relaxing couple of days. A lot of football this weekend and some crucial games so that's going to be entertaining. I’m away Sunday as I have a seminar. No beer.
19/09/09
Curry was OK yesterday, I used different rice than I normally use to make the Thai special rice and the result a very light dish whereas I prefer it slightly stodgy as it should be. My partner liked it though. No beer.
21/09/09
I didn’t get back from my seminar until about 8.30 and went straight to the gym. For some reason I did feel very anxious throughout the seminar today? I didn’t get loads of sleep last night so maybe that’s the reason, but I managed without obviously. Also a nice and refreshing change was the fact that once I had got off the train I got into my motor that I had parked at the station and drove home. I understand this is quite normal for most people but it is still a novelty to me at the moment.
24/09/09
I have been going to the gym quite regularly once again and that has been nice. No beers or cravings but I have got another cold sore??? Also my anxiety has levels have dropped again since the seminar. Going to the east end to see some friends on Saturday hopefully.
27/09/09
I didn’t go to London and ended up doing sports trading all day Saturday. Sunday went to Southampton. Had a massive roast in the afternoon, absolutely lovely. I have got yet another cold sore, I just don’t know what is running my immune system into the ground but I am going to find out. I have another appointment at the doctors on Wednesday so hopefully he can advise? And I’m also going to lower my dose of baclofen as I want to be taking the lowest dose possible without having any cravings. I think it’s safe to do this as regularly I find myself taking a dose in the morning and then not needing anything else until the evening and almost forgetting to take the afternoon dose.
29/09/09
Reduced my dose to 120 mg. Still have chronic cold sores so I need to analyse what it is I am taking or doing that is running my immune system into the ground. Initially I thought it’s the baclofen but when I was on 300 mg I never use to get them like this.
Tuesday 11 August 2009
August.
02/08/09
So our friends come over Friday evening and I cooked a Thai meal, managed to get through the whole night easily, I drank four bottles of stellar so just over 2 pints. To be honest they weren’t or didn’t taste like, “god what have I been missing” they were just beers! And I drank them to be sociable. And I didn’t drink anything Saturday although I may have had a craving but I’m not sure? But I had my baclofen on me and took three to be on the safe side. Drove a lot over the weekend and that helped my partner out as she was always driving before I started baclofen. Since my reduction in dosage I feel much better and things have become much easier for me in regard to side effects. I can function normally again and feel totally confident in the treatment once more.
03/08/09
I was going to work today but I decided against it as I had loads of personal chores to do. Also I decided not to quit my sports trading and I’m going to keep going as I’m sure that’s where the money is??? I’ve got quite a lot on with a guy whose information products I’ve been selling for some years and that may really help financially. No beer today and no cravings.
04/08/09
I had a day off today but unfortunately my partner had no motor due to an electronic key problem so our plans stopped there, so a very quiet and uneventful day. No beer and had no cravings.
07/08/09
A quiet couple of days for me, been over at my partners generally taking it easy. Absolutely no beers and no cravings although one thing I have noticed is that I keep breaking out in cold sores. When I use to drink I use to get them as obviously I was running my body down but I never got them as bad as I get them now. Is it the baclofen and another side effect of them? I really think it is as I have never had them with such consistency; it’s got to the stage that as one is clearing up another one is appearing. My diet is good and I’m obviously not drinking yet something is causing these continuous outbreaks? Maybe my immune system is affected by the baclofen and this is causing the repeated occurrence of cold sores? Shall look into this. On 130 mg 50 mg in emergencies although I still haven’t used this.
11/08/09
I had a few more days off over the weekend not because I needed them just because I could take them. I didn’t do anything spectacular but I have enjoyed the free time. No beer at all and no cravings even though my partner drinks red wine regularly. It still amazes me that after all the years trying to cure my alcoholism I eventually done it using a drug that has been available for 30 years or more. I have enjoyed just not drinking and been sober considering for months ago I was still an alcoholic.
14/08/09
So the weekend is upon us again and I really do notice how quick a week passes since I’ve been sober, or is it just me? My friend is doing a book signing in London on Saturday so we are going to that and then doing the London thing as my partner loves it, personally I don’t but I do enjoy showing my partner around. My nephew was due to come down today but unfortunately he has a bug and is out of action for a couple of days. Another 14 days have passed since my last beer and that’s when our friends come over from Canada and I cooked a Thai meal; I had four bottles of Stella to be sociable but could have easily gone without. Still on 130 mg, may look to reduce again very soon as I want to get to the minimum dose that keeps me abstinent, although I have been comfortable on this dose.
16/08/09
A good weekend, got up late on Saturday and then went to the pub to watch Chelsea, luckily they got a late goal and took the three points; all that beer around and I didn’t even fancy one, in fact it puts me off drinking seeing others do it, I honestly have totally changed my views on drinking altogether, I did not intend to aim for this it just happened? My partner and I worked out my average alcohol units consumed when I use to drink heavily, gold label is either 3.2 or 3.5 units of alcohol each can, some days I could drink eight, some days double that, so we averaged it to around 10 cans a day... So let’s be really conservative and account for the odd day I didn’t drink and say gold label is 3.0 units of alcohol each can. Obviously that equals 30 units a day or 840 units a month... Fucking ridiculous is what that is but amazingly I’m still here??? Now when I was drinking I never used a look at it like that because I didn't or couldn’t face the facts? All I knew is that I needed desperately to stop drinking but I just didn’t know how or even if I could. But if you’ve been reading my blog you will know I beat my alcoholism with baclofen, a good Dr., and determination... Oh, and last month I consumed all of 8 units.
20/08/09
I had taken the last three days off and I have been at my partners so no updates, although she has broadband as from yesterday so I can update as usual every evening. I have been suffering with a bit of a bug since the weekend, initially I thought it just a cold but it seems to be lingering, my partner is the same and we wondered if we had a bit of swine flu? Yesterday we went to a big health club/complex, I had a look at the kickboxing class but it was very basic; my partner went swimming and I was amazed how good her breast stroke was, obviously we have been swimming before but never in a gym where you just do lengths. I had a lot of anxiety yesterday and was close to taking my extra dose of baclofen although I didn’t. I don’t know where it come from? But I wasn’t as relaxed as normal. Its three weeks since my last drop of alcohol and no cravings since then, yesterday was the first day during those three weeks that I could [maybe?] Have reached for one when I was in the motor on the motorway, but honestly don’t think I could have let myself down that much; also I had some baclofen on me and took some there and then and that done the job, and I realized immediately just how much I do not need alcohol.
24/08/09
I have a virus... Bloody marvellous, do you remember I said I kept getting cold sores? I thought it to be the baclofen but I think my body has been lacking some good old vitamin C. I am diabetic and since I have stopped drinking I have been very partial to a bit off sugar thinking along the lines of, not drinking so sugar must be ok, bad mistake. All the sugar has been depleting any vit C I had in me and the cold sores were trying to tell me I was run down but I didn’t listen and I thought it another side affect of the Baclofen. So I think I have realised the cause of my cold sores and this virus??? And shall concentrate on getting my diet sorted.
My partner and I went to Portsmouth on Saturday, but I had a severe sore throat so we came back early. Sunday I was really rough and didn’t even watch the football. Obviously no beer and Friday marks 1 month alcohol free.
25/08/09
Still rough today although a bit better, a cough has come on though. During this virus i have still taken my baclofen regularly 130mg. If you read the posts you can see that Thistle is of the baclofen because she/he didn't think it a cure and didn't/couldn't handle the side effects, and I'm still on it because it's cured my addiction totally; horses for courses i suppose?
26/08/09
Coughed my balls of last night so not much sleep and kept my partner awake also, didn't feel great today but managed to go to supermarket. A good month work wise and some good stuff coming up to keep me financially optimistic. I'm going to see Chelsea play Saturday so hope I'm better by Friday and am i going to have a beer? I doubt it as i don't fancy it especially after feeling rough but you never know i suppose. Obviously no beers today and remember Friday is a month since my last drop and i have had no cravings during that period; So a chance to say thank you to my Dr for making this possible and prescribing me baclofen and Dr. A for making baclofen recognized as a solution for alcohol addiction; also thank you to everyone else that has read my blog and kept me going through the difficult patches and giving me a reason to be strong and keep blogging including those that have sent private emails and the good old Anonymous Dr. Thanks to my Mum for all the tears that eventually got through. My biggest thanks to my loving partner that has been my rock through it all and showed me that i really could do it, she has had faith in me when others only doubted me, and love that kept me going when i could have given up, and if she hadn't found that article all those months ago {March 2009} God only knows where I'd be ??? So thank you my dear ****** you are my life, my soul, my everything, XxXx.
Still rough so going to Dr's in the morning, shall report back the results.
31/08/09
Dr. done a couple of tests and seemed un phased by my illness so i guess I'm OK, or i hope i am as i still have this bug/virus??? Chelsea on Saturday and no beer... Amazing i still cant believe it myself actually. Quiet last couple of days and seriously wondering if this bug is just that or something else? As i cant remember ever having a cold/ virus this long and it's got me concerned.
So our friends come over Friday evening and I cooked a Thai meal, managed to get through the whole night easily, I drank four bottles of stellar so just over 2 pints. To be honest they weren’t or didn’t taste like, “god what have I been missing” they were just beers! And I drank them to be sociable. And I didn’t drink anything Saturday although I may have had a craving but I’m not sure? But I had my baclofen on me and took three to be on the safe side. Drove a lot over the weekend and that helped my partner out as she was always driving before I started baclofen. Since my reduction in dosage I feel much better and things have become much easier for me in regard to side effects. I can function normally again and feel totally confident in the treatment once more.
03/08/09
I was going to work today but I decided against it as I had loads of personal chores to do. Also I decided not to quit my sports trading and I’m going to keep going as I’m sure that’s where the money is??? I’ve got quite a lot on with a guy whose information products I’ve been selling for some years and that may really help financially. No beer today and no cravings.
04/08/09
I had a day off today but unfortunately my partner had no motor due to an electronic key problem so our plans stopped there, so a very quiet and uneventful day. No beer and had no cravings.
07/08/09
A quiet couple of days for me, been over at my partners generally taking it easy. Absolutely no beers and no cravings although one thing I have noticed is that I keep breaking out in cold sores. When I use to drink I use to get them as obviously I was running my body down but I never got them as bad as I get them now. Is it the baclofen and another side effect of them? I really think it is as I have never had them with such consistency; it’s got to the stage that as one is clearing up another one is appearing. My diet is good and I’m obviously not drinking yet something is causing these continuous outbreaks? Maybe my immune system is affected by the baclofen and this is causing the repeated occurrence of cold sores? Shall look into this. On 130 mg 50 mg in emergencies although I still haven’t used this.
11/08/09
I had a few more days off over the weekend not because I needed them just because I could take them. I didn’t do anything spectacular but I have enjoyed the free time. No beer at all and no cravings even though my partner drinks red wine regularly. It still amazes me that after all the years trying to cure my alcoholism I eventually done it using a drug that has been available for 30 years or more. I have enjoyed just not drinking and been sober considering for months ago I was still an alcoholic.
14/08/09
So the weekend is upon us again and I really do notice how quick a week passes since I’ve been sober, or is it just me? My friend is doing a book signing in London on Saturday so we are going to that and then doing the London thing as my partner loves it, personally I don’t but I do enjoy showing my partner around. My nephew was due to come down today but unfortunately he has a bug and is out of action for a couple of days. Another 14 days have passed since my last beer and that’s when our friends come over from Canada and I cooked a Thai meal; I had four bottles of Stella to be sociable but could have easily gone without. Still on 130 mg, may look to reduce again very soon as I want to get to the minimum dose that keeps me abstinent, although I have been comfortable on this dose.
16/08/09
A good weekend, got up late on Saturday and then went to the pub to watch Chelsea, luckily they got a late goal and took the three points; all that beer around and I didn’t even fancy one, in fact it puts me off drinking seeing others do it, I honestly have totally changed my views on drinking altogether, I did not intend to aim for this it just happened? My partner and I worked out my average alcohol units consumed when I use to drink heavily, gold label is either 3.2 or 3.5 units of alcohol each can, some days I could drink eight, some days double that, so we averaged it to around 10 cans a day... So let’s be really conservative and account for the odd day I didn’t drink and say gold label is 3.0 units of alcohol each can. Obviously that equals 30 units a day or 840 units a month... Fucking ridiculous is what that is but amazingly I’m still here??? Now when I was drinking I never used a look at it like that because I didn't or couldn’t face the facts? All I knew is that I needed desperately to stop drinking but I just didn’t know how or even if I could. But if you’ve been reading my blog you will know I beat my alcoholism with baclofen, a good Dr., and determination... Oh, and last month I consumed all of 8 units.
20/08/09
I had taken the last three days off and I have been at my partners so no updates, although she has broadband as from yesterday so I can update as usual every evening. I have been suffering with a bit of a bug since the weekend, initially I thought it just a cold but it seems to be lingering, my partner is the same and we wondered if we had a bit of swine flu? Yesterday we went to a big health club/complex, I had a look at the kickboxing class but it was very basic; my partner went swimming and I was amazed how good her breast stroke was, obviously we have been swimming before but never in a gym where you just do lengths. I had a lot of anxiety yesterday and was close to taking my extra dose of baclofen although I didn’t. I don’t know where it come from? But I wasn’t as relaxed as normal. Its three weeks since my last drop of alcohol and no cravings since then, yesterday was the first day during those three weeks that I could [maybe?] Have reached for one when I was in the motor on the motorway, but honestly don’t think I could have let myself down that much; also I had some baclofen on me and took some there and then and that done the job, and I realized immediately just how much I do not need alcohol.
24/08/09
I have a virus... Bloody marvellous, do you remember I said I kept getting cold sores? I thought it to be the baclofen but I think my body has been lacking some good old vitamin C. I am diabetic and since I have stopped drinking I have been very partial to a bit off sugar thinking along the lines of, not drinking so sugar must be ok, bad mistake. All the sugar has been depleting any vit C I had in me and the cold sores were trying to tell me I was run down but I didn’t listen and I thought it another side affect of the Baclofen. So I think I have realised the cause of my cold sores and this virus??? And shall concentrate on getting my diet sorted.
My partner and I went to Portsmouth on Saturday, but I had a severe sore throat so we came back early. Sunday I was really rough and didn’t even watch the football. Obviously no beer and Friday marks 1 month alcohol free.
25/08/09
Still rough today although a bit better, a cough has come on though. During this virus i have still taken my baclofen regularly 130mg. If you read the posts you can see that Thistle is of the baclofen because she/he didn't think it a cure and didn't/couldn't handle the side effects, and I'm still on it because it's cured my addiction totally; horses for courses i suppose?
26/08/09
Coughed my balls of last night so not much sleep and kept my partner awake also, didn't feel great today but managed to go to supermarket. A good month work wise and some good stuff coming up to keep me financially optimistic. I'm going to see Chelsea play Saturday so hope I'm better by Friday and am i going to have a beer? I doubt it as i don't fancy it especially after feeling rough but you never know i suppose. Obviously no beers today and remember Friday is a month since my last drop and i have had no cravings during that period; So a chance to say thank you to my Dr for making this possible and prescribing me baclofen and Dr. A for making baclofen recognized as a solution for alcohol addiction; also thank you to everyone else that has read my blog and kept me going through the difficult patches and giving me a reason to be strong and keep blogging including those that have sent private emails and the good old Anonymous Dr. Thanks to my Mum for all the tears that eventually got through. My biggest thanks to my loving partner that has been my rock through it all and showed me that i really could do it, she has had faith in me when others only doubted me, and love that kept me going when i could have given up, and if she hadn't found that article all those months ago {March 2009} God only knows where I'd be ??? So thank you my dear ****** you are my life, my soul, my everything, XxXx.
27/08/09
Still rough so going to Dr's in the morning, shall report back the results.
31/08/09
Dr. done a couple of tests and seemed un phased by my illness so i guess I'm OK, or i hope i am as i still have this bug/virus??? Chelsea on Saturday and no beer... Amazing i still cant believe it myself actually. Quiet last couple of days and seriously wondering if this bug is just that or something else? As i cant remember ever having a cold/ virus this long and it's got me concerned.
Wednesday 1 July 2009
July
01/07/09
A bit better today, I managed to sleep a bit more last night. Still a bit low but I manage to go to Bournemouth although I was a bit moody really. My dose is coming down so hopefully I shall get back to normal. Didn’t do much work today and I’m glad because it’s so hot in this flat. I’ve upset the anonymous Dr. apparently? So he’s not going to post here anymore because I’m too sensitive according one of my readers! That’s unfortunate but that’s his prerogative. To be honest the only Dr. that has done anything for me is my own GP, real smashing bloke and trust his decision totally, and obviously Dr. O as he has made all this possible. The anonymous Dr. was putting in some good posts and I enjoyed reading as I’m sure we all did. It really does help if you have a Dr. to advise you in this, as if you have a look at Jim, he has self prescribed and he thinks he’s cured! 1 minute he’s going to 300 mg then in the same week he has decided he’s definitely cured and he’s going down to zero baclofen and had no advice from his GP. I obviously hope you are cured Jim but it just seems totally irrational and please be careful. Anonymous Dr. no offence intended but I am entitled to my views also; take care if we don’t hear from you again and good luck and well done in having the courage to treat patients with baclofen.
02/07/09
A bit better again today but only very slightly, I slept again last night and had a snooze early afternoon. I have noticed on occasion that I have broken out in cold sores and normally only get this when I am run down, is this another side effect of the baclofen or is it just generally I have run my body down? But I’ve had separate ones for a couple of weeks. By side effect I mean can baclofen run your body down? Now that I am lowering my dose I do feel a bit better, the heady dazed sort of feeling is subsiding as are the headaches the somnolence and I have a bit more energy. If you’re remember Dr. Ameisen’s book he said that once he reached 270 mg he felt that something had triggered and he was able to lower his dose, I am hoping that being on the 300 mg for so long will have the same affect for me? I am on 240 mg at present and can take an extra 50 mg if need be if I have any cravings? And I’m looking to reduce that to 150 mg and then 50 mg in emergencies.
03/07/09
I lay in again today, although I’m not going to bed until around 3.00 AM! But I have been sleeping better once I get off. That last depression session really has taken it out of me! I can honestly say it is the worst I have ever felt drunk in all my life! And the depression that followed, that’s another story! Feeling depressed before I started drinking that’s the reason I had drunk, getting more depressed whilst drinking, and getting even more depressed trying to stop drinking! A total f*** ing mess! I’ve had some real pressures the last couple of days but there is no way I could risk ever feeling like that again, the minute I found myself getting tense I took some extra baclofen and that levelled me out. If you start drinking when on baclofen especially high doses get ready for a shock! It’s nothing like you imagine, I honestly thought I was losing my head! If I didn’t have my partner I may well have?
No beer today, and I’m getting ready to go on my cruise, as I come back to normal I am beginning to look forward to it at last, this has been one hell of a week! Everyone knows how hard it is to stop addiction but you do have to have a bit of willpower also if using baclofen. I found that out the hard way in a big way. So don’t do it, you won’t like it I’m sure!
04/07/09
My partner and I went to Bournemouth today to get a couple of bits for our cruise.
I didn’t have a beer or any cravings! This time a week ago I was just coming to the end of that terrible session. I definitely do feel better this Saturday. When you think about it, it’s only three months ago I was still an alcoholic or alcohol dependent shall we say? Yes I’ve had my ups and downs as you know I have! I’ve come on leaps and bounds also. Going away will be a challenge in a sort of sense because of all the alcohol surrounding me but I shall just take a baclofen if I have any cravings!
The upside to this is I cannot remember the last time I went away and did not get drunk??? So I’m looking forward to that to be honest and being with my partner for a week on our own! In the 4 and bit years we have been together we have never had that and I have never been sober so it should be nice? I shall take my laptop and update regularly or as I can. Anne if you are reading, I got that book you told me to get “Grow your own drugs” so shall read and come up with a plan whilst away.
05/07/09
I didn’t do much today, watched the Wimbledon final and sorted some stuff out for the cruise, and had a general tidy up. Still on around 240 mg, all through the day until around midnight I take up to 210 mg from 30 + mg doses and then if I get the slightest urge or feel myself becoming anxious I take another 30 mg late. My mood is definitely improving and beginning to rise! I’m so glad.
06/07/09
OK so this is my last post before I leave for the hotel. I really need to recharge and come back and get my head down into some serious money making, I always find it’s a good time to think and come up with ideas as you relax. So good luck to everyone and I shall update from the ship or an Internet cafe.
11/07/09
Hi all, i hope everyone is OK? i managed to get logged on so can update daily. I done something amazing on the way here! i made the entire journey here without a single drop of alcohol! that's my my first time as an adult flying without alcohol!!! shall update again this evening as I'm going to see the leaning tower of Pisa.
Evening.
OK so I've seen the tower and it's quite amazing and considering it's age, they started it in the late 1100's. So since the cruise i have had 1 bitter and 1 lager and no cravings, if a slight thought entered my head i had a baclofen and never let a craving start. i feel a lot better than i have been and i have no desire to ruin it by drinking! The cruise has gone so quick it's amazing, i think i am going to have to have another break in August as this has been a good relaxing remedy for me. i took 180mgs of baclofen on the journey over but that's a lot better than drinking. Oh and I've lost a stone and my mood is coming good, so I'm more optimistic once again so I'm coming back to being happy i think ??? In Monaco in the morning so shall update early evening.
A bit better today, I managed to sleep a bit more last night. Still a bit low but I manage to go to Bournemouth although I was a bit moody really. My dose is coming down so hopefully I shall get back to normal. Didn’t do much work today and I’m glad because it’s so hot in this flat. I’ve upset the anonymous Dr. apparently? So he’s not going to post here anymore because I’m too sensitive according one of my readers! That’s unfortunate but that’s his prerogative. To be honest the only Dr. that has done anything for me is my own GP, real smashing bloke and trust his decision totally, and obviously Dr. O as he has made all this possible. The anonymous Dr. was putting in some good posts and I enjoyed reading as I’m sure we all did. It really does help if you have a Dr. to advise you in this, as if you have a look at Jim, he has self prescribed and he thinks he’s cured! 1 minute he’s going to 300 mg then in the same week he has decided he’s definitely cured and he’s going down to zero baclofen and had no advice from his GP. I obviously hope you are cured Jim but it just seems totally irrational and please be careful. Anonymous Dr. no offence intended but I am entitled to my views also; take care if we don’t hear from you again and good luck and well done in having the courage to treat patients with baclofen.
02/07/09
A bit better again today but only very slightly, I slept again last night and had a snooze early afternoon. I have noticed on occasion that I have broken out in cold sores and normally only get this when I am run down, is this another side effect of the baclofen or is it just generally I have run my body down? But I’ve had separate ones for a couple of weeks. By side effect I mean can baclofen run your body down? Now that I am lowering my dose I do feel a bit better, the heady dazed sort of feeling is subsiding as are the headaches the somnolence and I have a bit more energy. If you’re remember Dr. Ameisen’s book he said that once he reached 270 mg he felt that something had triggered and he was able to lower his dose, I am hoping that being on the 300 mg for so long will have the same affect for me? I am on 240 mg at present and can take an extra 50 mg if need be if I have any cravings? And I’m looking to reduce that to 150 mg and then 50 mg in emergencies.
03/07/09
I lay in again today, although I’m not going to bed until around 3.00 AM! But I have been sleeping better once I get off. That last depression session really has taken it out of me! I can honestly say it is the worst I have ever felt drunk in all my life! And the depression that followed, that’s another story! Feeling depressed before I started drinking that’s the reason I had drunk, getting more depressed whilst drinking, and getting even more depressed trying to stop drinking! A total f*** ing mess! I’ve had some real pressures the last couple of days but there is no way I could risk ever feeling like that again, the minute I found myself getting tense I took some extra baclofen and that levelled me out. If you start drinking when on baclofen especially high doses get ready for a shock! It’s nothing like you imagine, I honestly thought I was losing my head! If I didn’t have my partner I may well have?
No beer today, and I’m getting ready to go on my cruise, as I come back to normal I am beginning to look forward to it at last, this has been one hell of a week! Everyone knows how hard it is to stop addiction but you do have to have a bit of willpower also if using baclofen. I found that out the hard way in a big way. So don’t do it, you won’t like it I’m sure!
04/07/09
My partner and I went to Bournemouth today to get a couple of bits for our cruise.
I didn’t have a beer or any cravings! This time a week ago I was just coming to the end of that terrible session. I definitely do feel better this Saturday. When you think about it, it’s only three months ago I was still an alcoholic or alcohol dependent shall we say? Yes I’ve had my ups and downs as you know I have! I’ve come on leaps and bounds also. Going away will be a challenge in a sort of sense because of all the alcohol surrounding me but I shall just take a baclofen if I have any cravings!
The upside to this is I cannot remember the last time I went away and did not get drunk??? So I’m looking forward to that to be honest and being with my partner for a week on our own! In the 4 and bit years we have been together we have never had that and I have never been sober so it should be nice? I shall take my laptop and update regularly or as I can. Anne if you are reading, I got that book you told me to get “Grow your own drugs” so shall read and come up with a plan whilst away.
05/07/09
I didn’t do much today, watched the Wimbledon final and sorted some stuff out for the cruise, and had a general tidy up. Still on around 240 mg, all through the day until around midnight I take up to 210 mg from 30 + mg doses and then if I get the slightest urge or feel myself becoming anxious I take another 30 mg late. My mood is definitely improving and beginning to rise! I’m so glad.
06/07/09
OK so this is my last post before I leave for the hotel. I really need to recharge and come back and get my head down into some serious money making, I always find it’s a good time to think and come up with ideas as you relax. So good luck to everyone and I shall update from the ship or an Internet cafe.
11/07/09
Hi all, i hope everyone is OK? i managed to get logged on so can update daily. I done something amazing on the way here! i made the entire journey here without a single drop of alcohol! that's my my first time as an adult flying without alcohol!!! shall update again this evening as I'm going to see the leaning tower of Pisa.
Evening.
OK so I've seen the tower and it's quite amazing and considering it's age, they started it in the late 1100's. So since the cruise i have had 1 bitter and 1 lager and no cravings, if a slight thought entered my head i had a baclofen and never let a craving start. i feel a lot better than i have been and i have no desire to ruin it by drinking! The cruise has gone so quick it's amazing, i think i am going to have to have another break in August as this has been a good relaxing remedy for me. i took 180mgs of baclofen on the journey over but that's a lot better than drinking. Oh and I've lost a stone and my mood is coming good, so I'm more optimistic once again so I'm coming back to being happy i think ??? In Monaco in the morning so shall update early evening.
12/07/09
Lovely day today, on the beach as couldn't get the train into the main towns. had a couple of pints of lager with our lunch, no cravings at all. I'm very reluctant to drink to be honest as it serves no purpose at all anymore! and i never ever want to relapse again. Back on Tuesday unfortunately! But have really enjoyed the rest. on 180mg/210mg and feel a lot better.
13/07/09
Last day today. really have enjoyed this and cant bare the thought of going back to reality! but i have to. Had a good think about how I'm going to progress financially once back so that's been a big bonus. it's amazing how a break can make you come to your senses and see things that you cant or haven't when at home. i have realized how i need to reprogramme my self again for my new life after alcohol and how i have been so concerned about it that i have sort of lost sight of my goals! i think i can say that baclofen has and is definitely helping me beat alcoholism and i should now start to build my self back into the successful entrepreneur i am.
15/07/09
So I’m back! Feeling a bit low as you do when you come back from the sea and sun and missing my partner already. Straight back to work though as I need to start building some money up. I’ve got three products I sell online so I am looking to add another 3 to 5 products so they pull in £100 + a day on average every day combined. Then I’m going to concentrate on making my sports trading pay. My first target being around £50.00 a day and then up from there. Some of the good professional traders I’ve had the fortune of meeting are on £1500/£5000 + a day! A personal friend of mine that trades the stock market is on £5000 on a bad day! Although he has started to show me the ropes I need to get my bank ready before I can start. So if any readers have any ideas or have any products I can sell online drop me an e-mail? Back to baclofen I took another 180 mg on the journey home although I did have three of the small cans of Stella whilst at the Airport before I boarded, why? I don’t know really it’s just because I was going home I suppose, definitely not out of craving. Once I did get back home I was OK I suppose and no more beers. So that’s the least I’ve ever had drunk on holiday as an adult and all due to baclofen. And my side effects have definitely reduced since lowering my dose. Each day I took 180 mg to 210 mg. And only ever had the odd pint and never a session. I have regained my confidence using baclofen once again. Although I am sporadically a bit low I do not think that’s solely the baclofen, maybe a bit but definitely not all. Also I need to start to reprogram my mind and be positive once again and I think that’s going to help immensely. The learning curve using baclofen had definitely run me down on occasion but I think I am over the worst of it and I think I can build my life up again now after alcoholism?
16/07/09
Even though my cruise already seems like a distant memory it really done me good! I feel better in myself and my mood seems to be more energetic. I was trying to work today but my sports trading program I was using seemed very slow and I was unable to trade properly! Bloody annoying. So hopefully a better day on Friday or I am taking the weekend off. No beer today and no cravings! I am on 180 mg so may drop down to 160 mg on Monday.
17/07/09
A busy start to the day doing one thing or another. An annoying day regarding sports trading, the program I’m using is still running sluggish making trading virtually impossible! Took a deposit for a house that I have let out for a year, so that’s good. If I can’t do any other work Saturday I shall go out for the day. Had one beer today normal strength as I was early for an appointment, I could have easily done without it if I have had some baclofen with me, didn’t drink anything else though.
18/07/09
I think this was the most boring Saturday I can remember! I worked all day like a buffoon for absolutely no reward, I was supposed to be seeing my partner but that fell through, so I got some rubbish to eat and stayed in. No beer today and no cravings! Having a day off from the desk Sunday, and I think I shall just relax, amazing isn’t it, last Sunday I was on the beach in Monaco! A week later I am in England in the rain as usual!
20/07/09
My apologies for no post yesterday, I stayed at my partners so couldn’t update, although she’s getting broadband. A quiet day all in all, got a couple of DVDs out and had a kebab in the evening [really healthy] and had an early night. No beers and no cravings. Back to the desk today, and made a bit more progress sports trading and I’m coming up with a few original ideas to make some more money....
21/07/09
Another pretty uneventful day, I cannot get the hang of the sports trading and it’s doing my head in, so I think I’m going to go back to doing my old system. I’m not a quitter at all but I can’t afford to lose money trying to learn something at the moment, so once I have built up some decent size bank again I shall have a serious look at it. I actually went to the gym this evening even though I wasn’t in the mood, and when I got there I fancied it even less, had a swim and a quick go in the steam room though. No beer and absolutely no cravings.
24/07/09
My computer crashed last night so no update! guy is coming to fix later, on lap top, so going to do a mammoth update tonight about everything and all things baclofen and me.
Still no desktop so on my laptop for a couple of days. Shall do the big update as soon as. Still no beers or cravings and not tempted at all lately. On 160mgs
26/07/09
A thorough update for you as promised, and once again apologies for the delay I'm still on my laptop as my main PC is not ready until Tuesday.
So I have been on baclofen for four months on the third of August. Has it changed my life? Yes absolutely! Was it easy? Yes sometimes other times a complete nightmare. Do I recommend it for curing alcoholism? Absolutely yes. Was Dr. Ameisen telling the truth in his book? I have read and reread various chapters and it is as he says although my baclofen journey seems to be harder than his!
So 4 months down the road and baclofen has helped me in more ways than one! As well as it curing my alcoholism it has curbed my chronic anxiety and panic attacks! It helps me sleep and relax in general! After being on 300 mg for 6 weeks my cravings are virtually nonexistent as a result. I'm on 150 mg at the moment and I think I should be able to come down to around 90/100 mg and 50 mg in emergencies! Something definitely changed staying on 300 mg for that month and a half. But believe me if you have read my blog since the beginning 300 mg a day was a severe test of stamina! My whole personality was as flat as a pancake! I totally lost my drive to do anything at all, I mean I couldn't even be bothered to talk to anyone! I lost my sex drive completely and that is only recovering lately. Also I encountered somnolence, breathlessness, aching joints, nausea, weight gain and depression. I was having serious doubts about baclofen and started to think that being happily drunk was far better than feeling like I did! But the worse one was the depression, I felt so down in the dumps, I just wanted it all over! Honestly, I was that blue, I prayed for a head on collision, some sort of accident, anything, as I couldn't do it myself and let everyone down! But I didn't quit, I kept my faith in kicking the crap out of alcoholism! And listened to my doctor and I’ve made it to the other side, I think? Obviously don't let that put you off, everyone is different and my side effects certainly do not mean they are going to be the same for you. But you have to remember, I was willing to go through all off that to cure my alcoholism! Are you ready to make that sort of commitment to yourself? And for your family and loved ones? Dr. Ameisen seemed to have it a lot easier than me in regard to baclofen and side effects, so I can only hope it's going to be the same for you, and it's a nice and easy with no side effects at all??? One other thing that does take some serious consideration is what do you do with the new alcohol free you? All of a sudden my 16 year habit stopped existing in the manner it always had and you need to be ready for that as well. It may sound ridiculous now but seriously you need to plan for it.
So on the bright side I am living life without alcohol and that has been my goal for years but baclofen made it possible! I feel healthier and people notice that and comment I look healthier; I can get on a plane without alcohol, I can go on journeys in the motor without having to have a beer, I can go into a restaurant and enjoy the food without alcohol, I can do everyday things without alcohol ruling me. I am the boss of alcohol and alcohol is definitely no longer in charge of me. That's what I had wished for for years. And when things didn't look that good and baclofen didn't seem to be doing its job I didn't quit, I dug in and cracked on. I also had the love and support from my partner and that's certainly helped get me through the tough times, maybe I might have quit if it wasn't for her? So if you are thinking of starting on baclofen don't give up if it doesn't go according to plan instantly! And don't blame your doctor or yourself. Take it easy and remember all the crap I went through. And never lose site of the stronger ultra improved person you are going to be once you have cured your alcoholism.
28/07/09
I have been staying at my partners quite a bit recently so apologies for the late update again. She is going to order broadband so then things will be easier. I went to the gym yesterday and again today, I forgot how much I enjoy it. After I’d finished swimming I went to pick up my computer, all day I was running around doing my personal chores. It’s amazing really, in April I could have done none of this due to my alcohol and anxiety! Yet today I drove 60 miles + and I felt really good doing it on my own without alcohol.
30/07/09
So it’s a fortnight and no beer or cravings and on ½ the dose I was initially on. 150 mg I stayed on for a couple of weeks after coming down from 300 mg, yesterday I took 130 mg and I shall stay on this for a couple more weeks and use 50 mg in emergencies although I haven’t had to do that to date. Hopefully I can get down 90/100 mg and 50 mg in emergencies. I feel much better than I did on 300 mg and I do think that my craving pattern altered during those high doses? And I think research in this area is vital to help understand and benefit addiction treatment. Also if they can come up with a solution to eliminate any depression before it starts I think baclofen is going to be a real winner and hopefully help many other addicts in general. My partner and I have a friend over from Canada that I’m cooking for on Friday, she’s are real big drinker! My partner has already told her that I rarely drink any more and I’m considering buying non alcoholic beer and disguising it to keep her happy. She drinks vodka as well and she’s only ever known me to have a serious drink. I do not consider it a test of willpower at all, it’s more a test of integrity because I already know I do not need or want to get drunk.
Tuesday 2 June 2009
June..
01/06/09
A quiet day really, monitoring price movements on Betfair all day. The gym is closed at the moment and not open until Thursday so my regular system has been put out for a couple of days, but hey, I’m not drinking even through boredom.
02/06/09
Another uneventful day really, I ordered a load of Thai ingredients that arrived this morning so I made a red curry paste and done a curry this evening, So much better than buying the crappy stuff you can get in a supermarket in jars, and I made enough to last and it keeps in the fridge. I am getting so used to not drinking it’s becoming the norm really, I just don’t do it anymore, I don’t crave it, desire it, miss it or anything really, all those years of thinking I was doomed and was going to die an alcoholic, then along came baclofen and BAM, all over! Although I often wonder how much damage I did to my body through all those years of addiction to alcohol?
03/06/09
Many thanks for your advice anonymous Dr. I must mention my nausea has passed since I have stabilised on this dose and I feel much better and the somnolence is nowhere near as intense although still present. So to be honest I am a lot more confident and happier to stay on this dose as it has kept me totally abstinent. Although I may discuss with my Dr. about taking more frequent doses as I can see the logic in this. I currently take 10 tablets three times a day. I can understand also about one of your patients feeling depressed! As I had the odd day feeling low but as you said all of a sudden your whole life changes and you need to adjust very quickly, a 16 year habit [as mine was] kicked in to check in 60 days is one thing people may have a problem dealing with.
04/06/09
I went to the gym today but the pool is still not open so I had a steam and a nice shower and hopefully it should all be back to normal by tomorrow. Also I weighed myself, I’ve lost half a stone and that’s not doing a diet and I haven’t been exercising so god only knows what’s going on with my metabolism? In fact I have eaten a load of rubbish including Kentucky’s, pot noodles, and lots of brown bread sandwiches. No beer again obviously, but I felt a bit down in the dumps all day, occasionally I do feel like that, it just comes and goes. Normally if I felt moody a few beers sorted me out but I don’t have that vice any more so I need to find something else to lift my mood when I’m feeling blue! The question is what can I do? This is going to sound ridiculous but it’s depressing knowing that I can’t have the jolly up when I’m feeling ****** off! But that is how it all starts isn’t it, depression and anxiety or you can’t sleep so you drink start the vicious cycle and before you know it you’re an alcoholic. I need some sort of excitement though! Something to get the old endorphins going and buzzing. Alcohol steals your identity but you don’t realise it until you have stopped! So when you abruptly stop drinking you have a void to fill, obviously don’t let that put you off, it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in years, but I am realizing that I need to be doing something enjoyable in my void and I need to find something constructive to do now all the euphoria of not drinking has passed.
05/06/09
I still felt a bit low when I got up today, I had to go over and do some stuff at my old house and that never helps my mood. I did have a couple of bottles of beer this afternoon and I did actually feel a bit better, I wasn’t craving alcohol or anything like that, really just fancied a nice couple of cold beers; then I went swimming this evening and I do feel OK again this evening, as I said, the depression just comes and goes for no apparent reason but I did think that maybe I felt low because I hadn’t been going to the gym? It’s strange now being in control of alcohol, I had a couple of beers this afternoon and that’s it, before I started taking baclofen there was no way I could do that, if I had beers at any time of day it meant a full blown session. Now I can have a beer like a normal drinker and to be honest I’m so pleased, it means I can go out and have a social life without worrying about a relapse; So that made me feel happier as I have been avoiding going out and that’s a bit stupid, I may go out and not drink but if I had a couple and I enjoyed it is there any harm in doing so?
06/06/09
A strange day of enlightenment today, since I have been on the baclofen I realized I have been constantly trying to occupy myself! I am doing this system test using real money on making a tax free income, this includes sports bets and financial trading, the financial trading is using a dummy account [for fake money] the sports bets I am using real money, a small bank but I have noticed instead of having a day off and walking away when I’m in profit I tend to sit here all day when I don’t have to and shouldn’t really and I end up losing money! This is because I don’t know what else to do with myself for the rest of the day. Now I know a lot of you may condemn what I’m doing but it is a test to see if I can make a tax free living a reality? I have got a few other things in the pipeline if all should fail but I am going through a huge transitional period in my life. I have given up drinking or at the very least being an alcoholic, I have started going to the gym again and exercising, my relationship has come to an end with my partner mainly due to the fact that I am sober and I can analyse things correctly, and I’m trying so hard at becoming financially secure again that it’s having the adverse effect and is making me lose money. I think it’s time to slow down and re-evaluate my situation; yes it’s excellent that baclofen has cured my addiction, but where do I go from here? I’m not sure right now but I’ll get there.
07/06/09
My partner came over this afternoon and we had a nice kiss and cuddle and it made us both feel a lot better, I think maybe that was why I was low as I hate us arguing and sulking. We went for a curry after and I had a couple of pints of cobra. We have also decided that we need a few days away so we are going to book a cruise I believe... Love is a funny thing. I’ll be talking to my Dr. this week regarding my dosage and where I go from here with the baclofen. I have got used to this dosage of 300 mg now and it has kept me abstinent, I’ve had a couple of beers here and there and that’s it. I forgot to mention I had a few San Miguel’s last night and a drop of wine and really enjoyed them; it is nice to know I can have a few beers without it becoming a problem and spiralling out of control. And I didn’t get any cravings today to drink it just happened that we went out to eat and I had a couple of beers with my meal.
08/06/09
I had purchased a trading program today that helps you make money [apparently] on the exchanges like Betfair, so messing around with that most of the day. Went swimming in the evening, come back and played some poker. Spoke to my Dr. Today and I’m going to stay on 300 mg for another 4 to 6 weeks and then start to reduce it to around half. As usual no beers today, still felt moody first thing but that past throughout the day. I went to the garage when I came out the gym and the guy at the counter said no alcohol? And I explained I rarely drink now and said it’s OK now and again, this guy then said he drinks a couple of nights a week but his big purple nose told a different story. Drinking affects so many people it’s unreal! And so many people have a problem with it but don’t admit it to themselves, I know because I was one of them and I was always trying to convince everyone else that I didn’t have a problem with alcohol! I genuinely feel sorry for alcoholics as I know how hard I struggled with alcoholism for so many years! I wonder if they’ll ever do an experiment and start adding baclofen to alcohol?
09/06/09
My partner and I booked our cruise today, so we go for a week in July. Quite a hectic day once we had booked, I had to film a video clip for YouTube, and then go and meet a Thai acquaintance of mine to discuss some business ventures, I had a pint of bitter in the pub while exploring various options we had and once again nothing else after that 1 pint. And then back to the desk to practice using this trading program I bought yesterday, went swimming in the evening. Early night I think.
10/06/09
I woke up early today, so checked my email and went to the post office; I then went swimming, practiced using this trading program [I’m no good at it at the moment though] and went swimming again in the evening. I was going to have a beer this evening and watch the football highlights but I just didn’t fancy it. I ended up watching a film called “leaving Las Vegas” ironically it’s about an alcoholic that falls in love with a prostitute. It really did bring back some memories of the states I use to get in. And it still amazes me all those years struggling with alcohol addiction and a chance article that my partner noticed has changed my life for good it seems and forever I hope.
11/06/09
Very moody again today, from the minute I wake up I feel down in the dumps! I really can’t explain it but it’s just there! I’ve got a shit load to deal with at the moment but that’s never been a problem before! I’m a born fighter and I can normally shrug things off, but its not easy to do that feeling this depressed! fucking weird. I am so happy have come to the end of my alcoholism but now I’m faced with this! I hope it’s not forever? I don’t know what’s worse being drunk or being depressed???
12/06/09
I felt a bit better today, I had a couple of beers and a few glasses of wine last night, I can’t really say it done much for me but I did generally feel better this morning. My diet has been pretty crap lately so that maybe another cause of my moods? Also I’m definitely going to start spacing my dosage out as I’m taking 300 mg a day over a 16/18 hour period and I think flattened me also. I may take 60 mg five times a day and see how I go from there. I went to the gym in the evening although I didn’t really fancy it, I didn’t do too much though. Going to cook a nice curry for Sunday, a Vindaloo I think using my late nans recipe.
13/06/09
A bit better again today and I started to take 60 mg five times a day although as doing this blog entry I have only had 240 mg so far and I feel fine, so do I need to take the other 60 mg or do I leave it at 240 mgs? I had a couple of beers today one when I was in nandos having lunch and another when I come out the supermarket, nothing else though. It is such a relief to know I am not going to go into some sort of full scale relapse by having a beer. The baclofen does keep everything regarding alcohol in check and my anxiety is much more stable, although I realise it can’t fix everything it i.e. the odd bout of the blues but it has done exactly what I wanted it to do and then some. Cooked the curry this evening in the slow cooker, and tested it as you do, it’s lovely.
14/06/09
A much better day today, my partner was working so I decided to do the same and practice using my trading application that I bought the other day. I am starting to get the hang of it so that made me happy, been scoffing curry alongside all day... Had a good session swimming in the gym and I think that taking 60 mg approximately 5 times a day has definitely helped as I do not feel low and lifeless, although yesterday I did not take the last 60 mg and I didn’t experience any alcohol cravings today and I had a lot more energy in general. I don’t think baclofen is going to be a drug that suits everyone the same way in fact I’m sure of it, everyone is obviously individual and therefore will react differently to the medication but even when I felt really low I didn’t doubt the positive effects that baclofen has given me. Maybe it was the baclofen that started making me feel low and lifeless? But maybe it wasn’t? Was it my diet? Was it a psychological reaction to the realization that I no longer needed alcohol? Who knows? But I ******* don’t that’s for sure! Now let’s see what I can put my energy into that can keep me occupied And Satisfied in what used to be my bingeing hours???
15/06/09
I stayed up late last night as there was a funny French film with subtitles on, surprisingly I had a craving also! I immediately took 3 more baclofen and it passed, but I was really surprised as it happened out of the blue. I felt really lethargic today and had a snooze in the afternoon, then I had to go up to a house I have rented out I move some stuff, had a quick swim after came back and practiced my sports trading as I didn’t do any this afternoon. Quiet night tonight [as usual] no more cravings.
16/06/09
Another day of practice regarding my sports trading, I did OK again. I went swimming in the early afternoon and then again in the evening. I have developed a really bad neck ache from all the breaststroke so I need to get that sorted as it is really giving me pain when I am at the desk.
Still spacing my dosage out and no beer again today or cravings although the somnolence has been present and I couldn’t sleep last night. Apart from that no other side effects.
17/06/09
In the gym again today but I still haven’t lost any weight at all! I’m eating way less calories, I don’t drink anymore and that filled me with at least 1800 extra calories every day, and I exercise every day and I just cannot shift the excess! I can’t do any more than I’m really doing but I’m wondering whether a side effect of baclofen is weight gain and is it slowing down my metabolism? I am really trying hard to lose the weight but it’s just not happening. I don’t know what to do next or change in my diet or lifestyle that is going to make a difference? Another day of no beer and had no cravings.
18/06/09
I woke up a bit low again today, but I immediately had my mood food diet and I felt a lot better by the evening once I had come back from the gym. I was talking to my partner this evening and if I’m brutally honest there are quite a lot of side effects with baclofen. Although apart from the depression none of them are really that bad. I have had quite a few along my journey.
Sporadic Depression
Strange dreams
Somnolence
Occasional Headaches [higher dose]
Aching joints
Depleted libido [higher dose]
Breathlessness
Nausea [higher dose]
Numbness in arms
Weight gain.
But really once you get used to it it’s far from the end of the world and some of them are only evident at very high doses, so I imagine once I lower my dose again a lot of these will be rectified? But I am more than happy at the life changing gain baclofen has given me! I’m just pointing out some facts about baclofen, but remember stay with it and never give up even if some days you feel a bit rough, and you like me can be free from addiction to alcohol. Quitters never win and winners never quit. One of my favourite quotes and one I always try to use in my life in general.
19/06/09
I had a slight hint of being moody when I woke up this morning but I went to the gym and done some swimming and felt better. Good day sports trading today and increased my bank, swimming again in the evening. May do some trading on Saturday as my partner is working and Sunday we are going to a museum for the day. Absolutely no cravings and obviously no beer, as it happens I cannot remember the last time I wanted to be to be drunk but it’s long long ago.
20/06/09
I actually finished early Saturday so we went to Bournemouth and got DVD out in the evening, had a couple of glasses of wine with my partner later.
21/06/09
As I have already said we went to the motor museum today, it’s OK considering we had complimentary tickets but there’s really not much there. Had a carvery after, no beer, and swimming in the evening. My partner said I didn’t even snore last night and that’s a huge bonus as during my alcoholism my snoring had become so ridiculous she had to sleep in the spare room. So it made a nice change. I had not stayed there for around three months. As it happens the last time I stayed there was when I was recovering from a massive session on vodka that had put me in casualty as I had chest pains. How it’s all changed for me since! On that day that I went to the hospital we had to keep and in pulling over because I kept thinking I was going to have a panic attack, my poor partner! I had a beer in hand on my way there even though I was in immense pain I still had to have it there! My god! What a mess!
22/06/09
An uneventful day really, trading seemed difficult all day and only really made progress in the evening. I went swimming later on, my neck ache is giving me really bad headaches, I’m obviously not swimming properly and being in my chair all day only adds to the aggravation, so I need to sort my swimming stroke sharp as today I found it difficult to concentrate due to my neck aching.
Again no beer no cravings.
23/06/09
Had a quick swim in the morning and done some trading in the afternoon, then watched Wimbledon. I actually went in the gym this evening as my neck has been giving me pain so I went on the treadmill and done very fast paced walking, I had really been putting it off as at one stage in my life I was super fit and done boxing, martial arts and running and to get on a treadmill and do walking was embarrassing to myself! I really want to do Muay Thai again but I am really conscious of being overweight so it puts me off. That’s another thing you have to deal with when you give up alcohol! When you’re an alcoholic you give up caring and I didn’t give a shit really about how I looked in the final years of my alcoholism, as long as I had my alcohol I just didn’t care about anything else! but now I do care and I’m conscious of what people think, but there’s no way I’m going to drink to get over it and mask it. I’m just going to start looking after myself again like I used to do [I am trying]. I used to wear lovely clobber, all the top designer names; I still do buy designer clothes but they just don’t hang off me like they used to because of my weight. But I just thought it an idea to mention that you have to deal with yourself when you give up alcoholism for good.
24/06/09
A Crappy day today! I had some beers very late evening as I just couldn’t unwind, I must stress I had absolutely no craving at all! I had drunk as I think a normal drinker drinks? And to be honest I am pleased with my progress and I do not consider it a relapse at all, controlled drinking to me is OK but only thanks to baclofen, if I was not on baclofen and I had been abstinent I think you can safely say that it’s a relapse! If I thought it to be a problem I will just take emergency doses! Some people might agree others seriously ill cannot afford to do that. There are some great post going on from the anonymous Dr. and Jim so please don’t forget to read.
28/06/09
My sincere apologies for not doing the Posts, I’ve had a couple of days of real down in the dumps and drunk on all of them like an idiot. There were absolutely no cravings, I just drunk because I was feeling low and I thought it might help, but it didn’t and that’s not acceptable and I must learn to deal with things without the alcohol! I really do hate the stuff! I stayed away at my partners as she always helps me when I feel depressed but I couldn’t update the blog from there because I was unable to remember the password or my frequent flyer number so once again my apologies. I feel I have let everyone down and obviously myself but that’s what this blog is about being honest and telling you how it is. I didn’t need to drink and I was stupid to do it but lesson learnt. I forgot also to take my last dose of baclofen one evening and I think that could have added to the semi relapse? So just remember even if you feel low on baclofen don’t even think about having a drink, it’s not going to make you feel any better and can cause a relapse. Alcohol just doesn’t do anything for me I realised I was drinking and I am absolutely positive of this in yet I still chanced it like a total **** good luck to everyone out there considering using baclofen and thank you for reading. The posts shall resume as normal once again from today.
29/06/09
I had no alcohol yesterday although the depression was still looming and it seemed tempting but I didn’t. That brings me onto the anonymous doctor’s recent post June 2009 04;49, anyone considering using baclofen or is on baclofen is committed and obviously very committed to giving up the alcohol that in my case had been a 16 year ******** curse. It’s not just Jim or the doctor’s anonymous patient that are committed, we all are surely? that in my opinion was a bit of a harsh comment to make! I’m sorry anonymous Dr. but a lot of people may think that they are not committed and doomed to fail if they had had a craving that beat them or in my case depression amongst other things! But I have learnt from that and I will never use alcohol to treat my depression again. I myself do not consider failing an option but not everyone is me! So if you are using baclofen or considering using ignore that comment and it does not mean you are not committed, you’re all very brave as it’s no walk in the park in the beginning! But I have found baclofen life changing and I am very committed as it has helped me so much and changed my views immensely in regard to my addiction to alcohol as I now know it’s beatable! So if you struggle with the side effects and alcohol in the beginning, it’s OK! There is a lot to learn about baclofen yet as it is very personal and different to every user; this is why I started this blog to share my experiences and to help others; and yes I have read Dr. Ameisen book and I reread different chapters for reference regularly; in fact I made a reference to it in some of the very first updates in April. You have a enormous amount to offer this blog anonymous Dr. but I feel all users and people trying to get prescriptions or considering using are committed to the cause.
30/06/09
I actually got some sleep last night not a lot but better than nothing on. I slept really bad during the binge and slept worse after! No beer no again and no cravings! I have noticed that drinking on baclofen gives me a very very groggy feeling from my neck into my head, and it lasts even when you have stopped drinking. It’s like a tension that starts from my shoulder blades into my neck and then into my head and you know it’s there! and whenever I take a dose it seems to make me just incredibly lethargic and foggy! And having only happened since the binge. In fact when you drink on baclofen you by no way get the same effect as you used to, there is no happy euphoria feeling is just a complete sedation of all senses and feelings and to be honest it’s quite unpleasant. But I seem to be in a constant daze and its worse when I take the next dose! I have never had that before. I spoke to my Dr. Today and I’m going to start bringing the dose down and to be honest I am really happy. The side effects at a higher dose have been too much for me, he has recommended reduce the dose 30 milligrams every couple of days until I am on 150 mgs so let’s see how it goes? For me personally, depression, the flatness, loss of sex drive and personality has been the real issues. For me a higher dose stopped working as good as it did on a lower dose so I’m reducing it and going to take around 50 mg if I get the craving and basically go from there? Reading my back posts I did drink at some of these doses but that was really to see when the baclofen was really going to work, I know it does work but you need to put some additional effort in on the lower doses, but I’m happy to do that rather than feel like this.
Friday 1 May 2009
May
01/05/09
Not much work on today, so drove to the local fishing tackle shop to buy a new lending net; that may seem like something trivial to some but to me it’s amazing as it’s only a month ago that it seemed an impossibility because of my drinking, chronic anxiety and panic attacks. It’s lovely to not feel trapped and that I can go and do something as simple as that. Thank you Dr. and Dr. Ameisen, I feel I’m getting myself back to normal if there is such a thing after all these years... Talking of Dr. Ameisen he did get back to me and said I was lucky to have such a caring and compassionate Dr. I agreed, and he asked if he could speak to my Dr. I said that’s fine by me and gave my Dr. His email address, I have no idea what they have discussed but obviously it’s baclofen, if it’s anything that’s not confidential and can help anyone getting prescribed baclofen by their doctors I shall post it here.
02/05/09
A lazy day today, went fishing in the afternoon and landed one carp about 5lb but the fish was just a bonus, and lovely to be outside. Had a really nice Saturday evening with my partner, started off listening to some CDs I bought the other day and had a couple of drinks indoor’s, then went back to my partners to drop the dog off, from there went to a pub and had 4 pints of bitter then on for a Chinese were i had a chat with the owner and arranged to go and play Hold’em with him this Thursday, Chinese man + poker = Good night. Dose up again today, 230 mg a day.
03/05/09
Another day off today, so went to a boot sale [a load of rubbish] then went to Bournemouth, had a carvery on the way, I had a pint of Stella and then a diet Coke. A bit of TV in the evening and a couple more beers and that’s it, I had loads of beer in the fridge but just couldn’t be bothered to drink them.
It’s obvious we know the baclofen is having an effect, but recently I haven’t been sleeping as well as I first did when taking baclofen, since my jeep has been in the repairers I haven’t been to the gym and I think that maybe causing my restlessness at night but I’m not sure? But due to this lack of sleep I have felt a bit rough in the day and not at all with it. One other thing I have noticed also is a numbness and mild pain in my arms and hands, is this another side effect of the baclofen or is it something else?
So to recap on possible side effects,
1. Sleepiness.
2. Lack of breath, mainly lying down at during sleep at night.
3. Pains and a general aching in my arms, although this may not related to baclofen.
04/05/09
An up and down day work wise, went to bed about 1.30 and that’s a bit earlier than normal lately, and slept quite well, no beer and woke up feeling fresh.
My beloved Chelsea played tonight and it is the most gutted I have ever felt seeing them lose!
I had 5 pints of Stellar then came home and had a couple of gold label, and a couple of glasses of wine which my partner had left from Saturday evening, but I did feel the need to drown my sorrows. Woke up feeling refreshed, and the nausea has passed so maybe it wasn’t the baclofen after all? Dose up again today I am taking 250 mg , 80 mg in the morning, 80 mg in the afternoon, and 90 mg in the evening.
07/05/09
A bit of tiredness in the afternoon, apart from that no other side effects, the pains I was getting in my arms has subsided as has the nausea, and I’m sleeping better again. My partner came around in the evening and we watched a film, I had 4 cans of San Miguel, and 4 gold label, on this occasion I felt like I could continue drinking but I didn’t, and I had drunk what I did over the course of an evening and not 8 cans of gold label in an hour and ½ so still and improvement. Although I must mention the alcohol I have consumed over the last couple of days does not have the same impact it use too, I don’t enjoy it like I used to as it’s not serving any purpose like relaxing me or stopping the craving as a result of the heavy drinking the night before, drinking seems pointless.
08/05/09
A busy day today with one thing or another, after yesterday’s result of me wanting to drink more than necessary I thought I’d give myself a test. I was going to get my hair cut and I had always had a beer before I went in there due to my anxiety and as usual always drunk until unconscious after. So today I had a can of San Miguel as I wanted to see if it triggered me to start drinking in the evening or after my hair cut especially as it had drank on the last 2 evenings. . The result, I didn’t drink any more nor did I have the craving to and I had beers in the house, that is another big result.
Not much work on today, so drove to the local fishing tackle shop to buy a new lending net; that may seem like something trivial to some but to me it’s amazing as it’s only a month ago that it seemed an impossibility because of my drinking, chronic anxiety and panic attacks. It’s lovely to not feel trapped and that I can go and do something as simple as that. Thank you Dr. and Dr. Ameisen, I feel I’m getting myself back to normal if there is such a thing after all these years... Talking of Dr. Ameisen he did get back to me and said I was lucky to have such a caring and compassionate Dr. I agreed, and he asked if he could speak to my Dr. I said that’s fine by me and gave my Dr. His email address, I have no idea what they have discussed but obviously it’s baclofen, if it’s anything that’s not confidential and can help anyone getting prescribed baclofen by their doctors I shall post it here.
02/05/09
A lazy day today, went fishing in the afternoon and landed one carp about 5lb but the fish was just a bonus, and lovely to be outside. Had a really nice Saturday evening with my partner, started off listening to some CDs I bought the other day and had a couple of drinks indoor’s, then went back to my partners to drop the dog off, from there went to a pub and had 4 pints of bitter then on for a Chinese were i had a chat with the owner and arranged to go and play Hold’em with him this Thursday, Chinese man + poker = Good night. Dose up again today, 230 mg a day.
03/05/09
Another day off today, so went to a boot sale [a load of rubbish] then went to Bournemouth, had a carvery on the way, I had a pint of Stella and then a diet Coke. A bit of TV in the evening and a couple more beers and that’s it, I had loads of beer in the fridge but just couldn’t be bothered to drink them.
It’s obvious we know the baclofen is having an effect, but recently I haven’t been sleeping as well as I first did when taking baclofen, since my jeep has been in the repairers I haven’t been to the gym and I think that maybe causing my restlessness at night but I’m not sure? But due to this lack of sleep I have felt a bit rough in the day and not at all with it. One other thing I have noticed also is a numbness and mild pain in my arms and hands, is this another side effect of the baclofen or is it something else?
So to recap on possible side effects,
1. Sleepiness.
2. Lack of breath, mainly lying down at during sleep at night.
3. Pains and a general aching in my arms, although this may not related to baclofen.
04/05/09
An up and down day work wise, went to bed about 1.30 and that’s a bit earlier than normal lately, and slept quite well, no beer and woke up feeling fresh.
05/05/09
Another good day as far as not drinking is concerned, had a sleep in the afternoon as felt shattered, but no beer again. Back to the gym this evening as I got my jeep back. I sent Dr. Ameisen another email again today as over the last couple of days I have felt slightly nauseous and I think it may be the baclofen, I basically asked if I had to take the maximum amount of baclofen in regard to my body weight as he did to suppress my alcohol cravings completely? Because if I’m feeling nauseous on 230 mg I could be feeling really terrible on 600 mg and it had been bothering me. I can confirm that it is not an absolute necessity I have to take this amount as he has advised me that it is impossible to know which patient needs what dose as everyone is individual; so I could get to taking 300 mg and then come down to half that and see if I stay abstinent, and I need to discuss it with my Dr. which obviously I shall do. So let’s see? As it happens today I did not feel nauseous at all, so maybe it is a phase that passes? One thing’s for sure though and that is I am not struggling to stay off alcohol, I just do not need any more like I used to, I am free from craving in about a month using baclofen.
06/06/09
My beloved Chelsea played tonight and it is the most gutted I have ever felt seeing them lose!
I had 5 pints of Stellar then came home and had a couple of gold label, and a couple of glasses of wine which my partner had left from Saturday evening, but I did feel the need to drown my sorrows. Woke up feeling refreshed, and the nausea has passed so maybe it wasn’t the baclofen after all? Dose up again today I am taking 250 mg , 80 mg in the morning, 80 mg in the afternoon, and 90 mg in the evening.
07/05/09
A bit of tiredness in the afternoon, apart from that no other side effects, the pains I was getting in my arms has subsided as has the nausea, and I’m sleeping better again. My partner came around in the evening and we watched a film, I had 4 cans of San Miguel, and 4 gold label, on this occasion I felt like I could continue drinking but I didn’t, and I had drunk what I did over the course of an evening and not 8 cans of gold label in an hour and ½ so still and improvement. Although I must mention the alcohol I have consumed over the last couple of days does not have the same impact it use too, I don’t enjoy it like I used to as it’s not serving any purpose like relaxing me or stopping the craving as a result of the heavy drinking the night before, drinking seems pointless.
08/05/09
A busy day today with one thing or another, after yesterday’s result of me wanting to drink more than necessary I thought I’d give myself a test. I was going to get my hair cut and I had always had a beer before I went in there due to my anxiety and as usual always drunk until unconscious after. So today I had a can of San Miguel as I wanted to see if it triggered me to start drinking in the evening or after my hair cut especially as it had drank on the last 2 evenings. . The result, I didn’t drink any more nor did I have the craving to and I had beers in the house, that is another big result.
09/05/09
Another busy day today, started doing some diy on a house I have. Then went to the gym, come back, had a roast, played some online poker and watched a bit of TV, no beer no cravings no hassle. Also I had an idea, I think I’m going to print myself some T-shirts, I love baclofen, I need baclofen, baclofen saved my life and so on, then I think I’m going to sell them online and try and raise some money for research into baclofen and addiction. You think about it, if we charged £9.99 for every T-shirt, less expenses to print, post and obviously for the T-shirt that comes to about £4.00 so for every T-shirt it’s a profit of about £6.00, so if we sell 1000 it’s obviously £6000 in profit to donate, and if we sell 10,000 that’s obviously £60,000 to donate, if everybody in England or indeed the world that had an addiction problem or knew someone that had an addiction problem bought the T-shirt/s that could give a massive amount of money to fund a clinical trial/s. Because we already know are and are aware that baclofen works we can be pretty sure that the clinical trial will give us a positive result. This then obviously will raise the issue in the UK and the rest of the world that Dr. Ameisen was indeed correct that the use of baclofen is an effective form of treatment in addiction cases and should be considered seriously by your G P’s. And so will give addicts and their friends and family something positive to aim for. I am so positive in the successful results baclofen can give addicts in staying abstinent I am willing to give this a go and organise it. I have no idea about the legalities of this sort of thing and have no idea how much a clinical trial costs and I could be totally talking out my harris, but it’s an idea on creating recognition in the uses that baclofen has for addiction, if anyone has any views please e-mail me.
10/05/09
I went to Bournemouth today and had a carvery on the way back, had 1 pint of Stellar with my meal and nothing else [alcohol] all day. I find it amazing that after struggling for 16 years with an alcohol problem, in under six weeks I have become a responsible drinker with absolutely no effort on my part all due to baclofen. I never thought it possible for me to be in this free from craving alcohol state. Dose up again today I’m on 270 mg the same dose that Dr. Ameisen took to stop his alcohol addiction. Remember I said I am a lot bigger than him so I may need to take a lot more yet though.
11/05/09
A really busy day, gym in the evening, but I just could not get to sleep at night, it’s so noisy here with the window open it’s unbelievable! At 5.00 AM I drank six cans of beer, 3 San Miguel and 3 gold label, ******* idiot. I text my partner as soon as I had started drinking them and when she read it in the morning she thought why didn’t I have a hot chocolate? I did laugh when she told me, why didn’t I have a hot chocolate? I did go to sleep after them though.
12/05/09
I done an experiment today the same experiment that Dr. Ameisen done with the vodka when he was using baclofen. Basically I bought a bottle of vodka and consumed all of it as I wanted to see if I was craving alcohol the next day.
13/05/09
The results of my experiment. I’ve always wanted to say this and I can safely say “Don’t try this at home” I woke up with a severe hangover as I hadn’t been used to drinking so much, by the afternoon I was clucking beer and had 1, I was anxious all afternoon and I felt in a daze, my anxiety heightened late afternoon to almost panic attack, I felt totally unreal and really depressed and it brought back all the memories of when I was drunk and controlled by alcohol. The ironic thing is as I was drinking I realized I didn’t even enjoy it and it seemed an effort to get it down, and all to feel rough the next day.
Conclusion, having an unnecessary binge up is pointless and will promote cravings the following day. I don’t have to drink using my baclofen and I’m not going to, I have tested the boundaries and it’s a no go for recovering addicts. I shall have a couple of beers tonight and get back to what has become the usual of not drinking and not being dependent
14/05/09
A much better day today, back to normal after my stupid experiment. No beers! Or any other alcohol today, didn’t sleep too bad but not great but still feel better than I did. Do you know it really made me think doing that experiment that I could be quite happy never being drunk again, I don’t mind having the odd beer if I’m going out for something to eat or doing something social but the other day after my experiment I just felt so rough, and it reminded me of when I have landed myself in casualty. I have been in hospital on numerous occasions due to alcohol, I have had pancreatitis on 3 separate occasions and I can confirm this is the worst pain I have ever experienced and was given morphine. Because I was a drinker they assumed that the pancreatitis was down to drinking but they were incorrect. I found out on my third case of suspected pancreatitis that my triglycerides [blood fat] levels were so high that it had been causing my pancreatitis. Unfortunately they found it too late and the damage it had done to my pancreas have given me type 1 diabetes so I’m on insulin. Also I have been admitted after having chronic chest pains, and if it wasn’t a medical condition I was in there for fight injuries I had incurred. Don’t think I just went out starting fights as I didn’t, but nasty bastards say nasty things too innocent people, and being drunk and thinking I was invincible has lead to people taking liberties with me in my inebriated state when I confronted them, and in hindsight there is no way I should have confronted them in the state I was in but I was never sober enough for long enough to do it any other way. After my experiment it has only encouraged me to steer clear of alcohol, and I have decided I’m going to have another fight but this is with my weight and my fitness. I’m going to eat healthy and start a training regime, the last time I weighed myself on one of those digital scales you get in health stores I was 19 stone 13 with my clothes and trainers and I had just eaten, and my body mass index was about 38. I haven’t weighed myself since and that was about a month ago and I have been swimming regularly and my diet hasn’t been to bad so maybe I have lost some weight already due to the fact I’m not drinking alcohol in the volume I used to do? But I’m going to do some high intensity interval training and put being fat, drunk and stupid to bed once and for all.
15/05/09
A long day today, had to do some more Diy and then got finished about 8.00 PM. Did go to the gym though and weighed myself, as I got on the scales I noticed them quaking in fear then they bellowed out “1 at a time please” I’m 19 stone 10lbs. My aim is to get down to around 13 stone as this was what I weighed when I done Muay Thai; Although losing 3 or 4 stone is the first target. No beer.
16/05/09
A busy day today doing stuff online. No beer again and going to the gym tonight. Started my diet today also, doing the fat loss 4 idiots weight loss programme, I had done it before and it definitely worked but I was always drinking then so could never really stick to it, so let’s see how it does???
I have a new training program ready to start on Monday to go alongside it. As long as I stay on the regime I should lose some weight in a month? No beer again today and certainly no cravings. I spoke to my Dr. the other day and discussed my dose. We have decided to up the dose once more, I am now on 300 mg and I’m going to stay on that dose for a month and then start to reduce it to a level that keeps me abstinent.
17/05/09
I felt quite sleepy and lethargic today, had a sleep in the afternoon and another sleep before I went to the gym, but it’s a nice feeling, very relaxed, absolutely no cravings for beer. Had a curry in the evening with my partner, she had Chicken Vindaloo, I had chicken Shashlik as it was the only one I could have that fitted in with my diet, no beer once again. So in six weeks I am in total control of my alcohol problem, I done an experiment that confirmed it has become an effort to drink alcohol whilst using baclofen, although it gave me cravings the next day I was able to completely stop drinking the day after. This is a dream come true I can’t believe it, my Dr. Has saved me from the bone yard that’s for sure! I used to think I was going to die from alcohol related illnesses at around 50 maximum and I thought at least I shall be out of my misery! I can now actually see myself living my life free from craving and doing the things I’ve always wanted to do and living my life on my terms.
It amazes me, I get so many emails from people in desperate situations as I was whose doctors are just not interested in even listening to their patients regarding baclofen let alone prescribing it. I am a living example that baclofen works for alcohol addiction at least, and I do not understand why they will not give their patients at least the chance to beat this terrible illness? They have so much to gain an absolutely nothing to lose. It is obviously a safe drug, I’m on 300 mg, 30 mg more than Dr. Ameisen took to cure his addiction and the only real side effect I have had its somnolence, at one stage I felt slightly nauseous, and I have had the deep breathing issues when asleep but by no means have these been unbearable side effects, and the nausea feeling I think was to do with combining alcohol and baclofen. The fact is my Dr. Believed in it and me and he was right, I really think he has started the ball rolling for everyone else and I think other doctors will come around due to my doctor’s actions.
19/05/09
A good day today, I went swimming about midday, then I had to go and let an electrician in, done some work had asleep about 6.00 PM and then went swimming again. I didn’t feel as lethargic as I have been so I should be able to start my training regime next Monday once my body has adjusted. 300 mg seems to be the perfect dose at the moment as I have no alcohol cravings at all, of course I have the stresses and strains of everyday life but where normally I have reached for a beer, that doesn’t really come into the equation anymore.
20/05/09
Got up and went swimming late morning as I had to go to Southampton after that and then got informed I didn’t have to go at all so a wasted journey. Done a bit of work in the afternoon and felt really lethargic again very early evening, had a snooze and went swimming again. Before when I was drinking this was just not reality to go to the gym in the morning and evening as my anxiety levels were always extreme. The baclofen has reduced my anxiety which was the initial cause of my alcoholism; this in turn has given me the ability to do everyday things.
21/05/09
Good day doing all different things, and before I knew it its 6.00 PM, went to the gym about 8.45 and done 50% more swimming than normal. Come back and had a salad, and I think I’ll have a game of poker later. This week has gone so quick it’s shocking, I’ve stuck to my diet, been going to the gym more and not a beer in sight. More importantly this is all coming naturally, I don’t have to try and not have a beer, I just don’t think about it the way I used to. It makes me realise what a vicious circle I was in and how lucky I was to have a Dr. I have. It makes me wonder if someone’s going to come along and take it all away from me? That’s it Chris no more baclofen for you, your Dr. was wrong to help you! I don’t think I could bear that at all.
22/05/09
Swimming before I started work this afternoon, an up and down day. Swimming again in the evening, and I think I may have a day off and go fishing Saturday. Apart from that very quiet.
23/05/09
Another pretty non eventful day, my diet is doing my head in though, today all I can eat is salad with cheese on it, but in another 3 days I get to eat what I like for 3 days, thank **** for that. This is one boring diet that’s for sure! Tomorrow marks 10 days without beer and I’ve had no cravings whatsoever, my body is having such a deserved rest and god knows what my liver thinks has happened? A week or so before I started my baclofen I had a test done on my liver amongst other tests as I had been getting chest pains, it gave a reading of 230, and it should have been a maximum of 30! The Dr. That examined me said that this is only going to get much worse from here and reminded me of George Best. That’s when I really started to research baclofen and contacted my Dr. Regarding the treatment. Lately I’ve wondered what that liver test it is now since I’ve reduced my alcohol intake so much since taking my miracle cure?
24/05/09
I had a day off today, no work no training, my body needs a rest as my muscles actually ache. I did drive to the lake to go fishing but it’s a long weekend and it’s sunny so it’s packed down there and to be honest this particular Lake I went to isn’t that picturesque! In fact it’s almost ugly, a man made fishing complex; strangely I realized it’s the first time I have ever been down there without alcohol in my veins so maybe I just saw it in a different light. As I write I’ve decided I’m not going to go there anymore, there is plenty of fish there but it’s just far too unnatural. I went to the country club instead where I go training and read a book in the sun. I did buy some beer today actually some cider, as I thought it’s a nice day to have a beer in the sun but I didn’t have one, not because I felt I was letting myself down or anything like that, it just didn’t turn out like that. Amazing!
25/05/09
An uncomfortable night, really hot and sticky and I just couldn’t get to sleep, nodded off around 4.00 AM up at 8.30 then back to sleep about 9.30 until about midday. Got finished early and took my partners dog out for a walk on the coast, I really enjoyed it but it seems 300 mg of baclofen produces sporadic bouts of somnolence as I was shattered after. Also a couple of other people including my partner have said what’s up and that I sound really unhappy. I have explained I am fine but obviously something in my voice makes them think otherwise. I think it is that I am just so relaxed on 300 mg to the extent that I must come across a bit unenthusiastic and I do feel slightly foggy. When I think about it I can understand what they mean, there is no urgency in me at the moment although I am ecstatic that I’m controlling my drinking it probably just doesn’t come out like that at the moment due to the high dose. I've only got about another 3 weeks on this high dose and then I start to decrease my dose back to around 150 mg or a dose that keeps me abstinent. So in my view it [somnolence] is an incredibly small price to pay for such a life changing result.
26/05/09
A quiet day, nothing at all happening on the work front and the T-shirts hasn’t really taken off, in an ideal world doing something with food [chef] or dogs is something I am interested in. Now I seem to have my drinking in control the world is my oyster once again so I am thinking seriously about these areas for financial gain and enjoyment. Swimming again today afternoon and evening, still having a bit of somnolence so haven’t started my training regime in earnest yet. Last day of diet.
27/05/09
I can have whatever I like to eat for 3 days as from today and then I’m back on my diet. I had a cheese roll this afternoon and it sent my blood sugar soaring. Went to the gym in the evening and weighed myself, I haven’t lost any weight if anything I have put on 3lb! I couldn’t ******* believe it, all that training and boring meals for **** all! But I’m not going to give up, I’m still going to go to the gym as I’ve really enjoyed that since I’ve not been drinking. I thought that just not drinking should have helped me to lose weight even if I didn’t go to the gym? But obviously not. I’m going to try just having salad and lean meat for lunch and dinner and only snack on fruit, and also have a breakfast cereal every morning. I may not have lost any weight but I feel so much better.
28/05/09
Today marks 14 days without beer and not only that I haven’t craved for it at all! I cannot remember the last time I went that long without alcohol? I’m pretty sure it’s got to be years and years ago. Now ironically the plan tonight is to watch a film, have a takeaway and have a couple of normal strength beers as I had finished my diet. I have done this and to be honest they have made me feel very nauseous, I’m not sure whether it’s a reaction to the baclofen and the high dose? But I have had 3 and that’s enough! I haven’t enjoyed them at all! So it looks like baclofen really has cured me to the extent that I don’t even get pleasure from alcohol anymore!
29/05/09
Quite a busy day today, I made a spicy Thai soup for lunch, very nice. I am still amazed at how rough I felt yesterday after having a couple of beers and I can confirm I actually vomited, I felt so rough I didn’t even take my last dose of baclofen. More surprisingly I woke this morning and felt fine. I must say that at 300 mg that’s enough for me, if it isn’t the somnolence I have felt nauseous. So I’m glad my Dr. decided to cap it at 300 mg. That’s one huge bonus I have had with the help of my Dr. Is that I can discuss openly with him the dosage and this is what any of you that are buying it from the Internet don’t have the advantage of, so decide on a plan and stay on it and be careful if you are going the solo route. Obviously no beer today and certainly no cravings for it.
30/05/09
It’s such a lovely day today I’m going out and giving any work a miss. We ended up going to Bournemouth and go to a pub to watch my beloved Chelsea in the FA cup final and then go for a look round the shops. The boys done it in style and even if you don’t support Chelsea we deserve that at least this season. I actually had a couple of pints of diet coke, yes I did say coke, as I didn’t even fancy a beer, me in a pub watching football drinking non alcoholic drinks, amazing.
Quiet night tonight, may go fishing in the morning.
31/05/09
I went to the health club this afternoon and sun bathed in the grounds. Swimming pool inside was closed due to an electrical fault so I couldn’t go swimming, there's a outside swimming pool but it was packed, but the weather was lovely so it made a change. I took a Thai cookbook with me and my partner came down and we went for a curry after. Another quiet night tonight, played some more poker, I’m getting quite good I think, more or less always finish in the top 3 and the money, even though it’s for fun and fun credit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
