August.

02/08/09
So our friends come over Friday evening and I cooked a Thai meal, managed to get through the whole night easily, I drank four bottles of stellar so just over 2 pints. To be honest they weren’t or didn’t taste like, “god what have I been missing” they were just beers! And I drank them to be sociable. And I didn’t drink anything Saturday although I may have had a craving but I’m not sure? But I had my baclofen on me and took three to be on the safe side. Drove a lot over the weekend and that helped my partner out as she was always driving before I started baclofen. Since my reduction in dosage I feel much better and things have become much easier for me in regard to side effects. I can function normally again and feel totally confident in the treatment once more.

03/08/09
I was going to work today but I decided against it as I had loads of personal chores to do. Also I decided not to quit my sports trading and I’m going to keep going as I’m sure that’s where the money is??? I’ve got quite a lot on with a guy whose information products I’ve been selling for some years and that may really help financially. No beer today and no cravings.

04/08/09
I had a day off today but unfortunately my partner had no motor due to an electronic key problem so our plans stopped there, so a very quiet and uneventful day. No beer and had no cravings.

07/08/09
A quiet couple of days for me, been over at my partners generally taking it easy. Absolutely no beers and no cravings although one thing I have noticed is that I keep breaking out in cold sores. When I use to drink I use to get them as obviously I was running my body down but I never got them as bad as I get them now. Is it the baclofen and another side effect of them? I really think it is as I have never had them with such consistency; it’s got to the stage that as one is clearing up another one is appearing. My diet is good and I’m obviously not drinking yet something is causing these continuous outbreaks? Maybe my immune system is affected by the baclofen and this is causing the repeated occurrence of cold sores? Shall look into this. On 130 mg 50 mg in emergencies although I still haven’t used this.

11/08/09
I had a few more days off over the weekend not because I needed them just because I could take them. I didn’t do anything spectacular but I have enjoyed the free time. No beer at all and no cravings even though my partner drinks red wine regularly. It still amazes me that after all the years trying to cure my alcoholism I eventually done it using a drug that has been available for 30 years or more. I have enjoyed just not drinking and been sober considering for months ago I was still an alcoholic.

14/08/09
So the weekend is upon us again and I really do notice how quick a week passes since I’ve been sober, or is it just me? My friend is doing a book signing in London on Saturday so we are going to that and then doing the London thing as my partner loves it, personally I don’t but I do enjoy showing my partner around. My nephew was due to come down today but unfortunately he has a bug and is out of action for a couple of days. Another 14 days have passed since my last beer and that’s when our friends come over from Canada and I cooked a Thai meal; I had four bottles of Stella to be sociable but could have easily gone without. Still on 130 mg, may look to reduce again very soon as I want to get to the minimum dose that keeps me abstinent, although I have been comfortable on this dose.

16/08/09
A good weekend, got up late on Saturday and then went to the pub to watch Chelsea, luckily they got a late goal and took the three points; all that beer around and I didn’t even fancy one, in fact it puts me off drinking seeing others do it, I honestly have totally changed my views on drinking altogether, I did not intend to aim for this it just happened? My partner and I worked out my average alcohol units consumed when I use to drink heavily, gold label is either 3.2 or 3.5 units of alcohol each can, some days I could drink eight, some days double that, so we averaged it to around 10 cans a day... So let’s be really conservative and account for the odd day I didn’t drink and say gold label is 3.0 units of alcohol each can. Obviously that equals 30 units a day or 840 units a month... Fucking ridiculous is what that is but amazingly I’m still here??? Now when I was drinking I never used a look at it like that because I didn't or couldn’t face the facts? All I knew is that I needed desperately to stop drinking but I just didn’t know how or even if I could. But if you’ve been reading my blog you will know I beat my alcoholism with baclofen, a good Dr., and determination... Oh, and last month I consumed all of 8 units.

20/08/09
I had taken the last three days off and I have been at my partners so no updates, although she has broadband as from yesterday so I can update as usual every evening. I have been suffering with a bit of a bug since the weekend, initially I thought it just a cold but it seems to be lingering, my partner is the same and we wondered if we had a bit of swine flu? Yesterday we went to a big health club/complex, I had a look at the kickboxing class but it was very basic; my partner went swimming and I was amazed how good her breast stroke was, obviously we have been swimming before but never in a gym where you just do lengths. I had a lot of anxiety yesterday and was close to taking my extra dose of baclofen although I didn’t. I don’t know where it come from? But I wasn’t as relaxed as normal. Its three weeks since my last drop of alcohol and no cravings since then, yesterday was the first day during those three weeks that I could [maybe?] Have reached for one when I was in the motor on the motorway, but honestly don’t think I could have let myself down that much; also I had some baclofen on me and took some there and then and that done the job, and I realized immediately just how much I do not need alcohol.

24/08/09
I have a virus... Bloody marvellous, do you remember I said I kept getting cold sores? I thought it to be the baclofen but I think my body has been lacking some good old vitamin C. I am diabetic and since I have stopped drinking I have been very partial to a bit off sugar thinking along the lines of, not drinking so sugar must be ok, bad mistake. All the sugar has been depleting any vit C I had in me and the cold sores were trying to tell me I was run down but I didn’t listen and I thought it another side affect of the Baclofen. So I think I have realised the cause of my cold sores and this virus??? And shall concentrate on getting my diet sorted.
My partner and I went to Portsmouth on Saturday, but I had a severe sore throat so we came back early. Sunday I was really rough and didn’t even watch the football. Obviously no beer and Friday marks 1 month alcohol free.

25/08/09
Still rough today although a bit better, a cough has come on though. During this virus i have still taken my baclofen regularly 130mg. If you read the posts you can see that Thistle is of the baclofen because she/he didn't think it a cure and didn't/couldn't handle the side effects, and I'm still on it because it's cured my addiction totally; horses for courses i suppose?

26/08/09
Coughed my balls of last night so not much sleep and kept my partner awake also, didn't feel great today but managed to go to supermarket. A good month work wise and some good stuff coming up to keep me financially optimistic. I'm going to see Chelsea play Saturday so hope I'm better by Friday and am i going to have a beer? I doubt it as i don't fancy it especially after feeling rough but you never know i suppose. Obviously no beers today and remember Friday is a month since my last drop and i have had no cravings during that period; So a chance to say thank you to my Dr for making this possible and prescribing me baclofen and Dr. A for making baclofen recognized as a solution for alcohol addiction; also thank you to everyone else that has read my blog and kept me going through the difficult patches and giving me a reason to be strong and keep blogging including those that have sent private emails and the good old Anonymous Dr. Thanks to my Mum for all the tears that eventually got through. My biggest thanks to my loving partner that has been my rock through it all and showed me that i really could do it, she has had faith in me when others only doubted me, and love that kept me going when i could have given up, and if she hadn't found that article all those months ago {March 2009} God only knows where I'd be ??? So thank you my dear ****** you are my life, my soul, my everything, XxXx.

27/08/09
Still rough so going to Dr's in the morning, shall report back the results.

31/08/09
Dr. done a couple of tests and seemed un phased by my illness so i guess I'm OK, or i hope i am as i still have this bug/virus??? Chelsea on Saturday and no beer... Amazing i still cant believe it myself actually. Quiet last couple of days and seriously wondering if this bug is just that or something else? As i cant remember ever having a cold/ virus this long and it's got me concerned.

July

01/07/09
A bit better today, I managed to sleep a bit more last night. Still a bit low but I manage to go to Bournemouth although I was a bit moody really. My dose is coming down so hopefully I shall get back to normal. Didn’t do much work today and I’m glad because it’s so hot in this flat. I’ve upset the anonymous Dr. apparently? So he’s not going to post here anymore because I’m too sensitive according one of my readers! That’s unfortunate but that’s his prerogative. To be honest the only Dr. that has done anything for me is my own GP, real smashing bloke and trust his decision totally, and obviously Dr. O as he has made all this possible. The anonymous Dr. was putting in some good posts and I enjoyed reading as I’m sure we all did. It really does help if you have a Dr. to advise you in this, as if you have a look at Jim, he has self prescribed and he thinks he’s cured! 1 minute he’s going to 300 mg then in the same week he has decided he’s definitely cured and he’s going down to zero baclofen and had no advice from his GP. I obviously hope you are cured Jim but it just seems totally irrational and please be careful. Anonymous Dr. no offence intended but I am entitled to my views also; take care if we don’t hear from you again and good luck and well done in having the courage to treat patients with baclofen.

02/07/09
A bit better again today but only very slightly, I slept again last night and had a snooze early afternoon. I have noticed on occasion that I have broken out in cold sores and normally only get this when I am run down, is this another side effect of the baclofen or is it just generally I have run my body down? But I’ve had separate ones for a couple of weeks. By side effect I mean can baclofen run your body down? Now that I am lowering my dose I do feel a bit better, the heady dazed sort of feeling is subsiding as are the headaches the somnolence and I have a bit more energy. If you’re remember Dr. Ameisen’s book he said that once he reached 270 mg he felt that something had triggered and he was able to lower his dose, I am hoping that being on the 300 mg for so long will have the same affect for me? I am on 240 mg at present and can take an extra 50 mg if need be if I have any cravings? And I’m looking to reduce that to 150 mg and then 50 mg in emergencies.

03/07/09
I lay in again today, although I’m not going to bed until around 3.00 AM! But I have been sleeping better once I get off. That last depression session really has taken it out of me! I can honestly say it is the worst I have ever felt drunk in all my life! And the depression that followed, that’s another story! Feeling depressed before I started drinking that’s the reason I had drunk, getting more depressed whilst drinking, and getting even more depressed trying to stop drinking! A total f*** ing mess! I’ve had some real pressures the last couple of days but there is no way I could risk ever feeling like that again, the minute I found myself getting tense I took some extra baclofen and that levelled me out. If you start drinking when on baclofen especially high doses get ready for a shock! It’s nothing like you imagine, I honestly thought I was losing my head! If I didn’t have my partner I may well have?
No beer today, and I’m getting ready to go on my cruise, as I come back to normal I am beginning to look forward to it at last, this has been one hell of a week! Everyone knows how hard it is to stop addiction but you do have to have a bit of willpower also if using baclofen. I found that out the hard way in a big way. So don’t do it, you won’t like it I’m sure!

04/07/09
My partner and I went to Bournemouth today to get a couple of bits for our cruise.
I didn’t have a beer or any cravings! This time a week ago I was just coming to the end of that terrible session. I definitely do feel better this Saturday. When you think about it, it’s only three months ago I was still an alcoholic or alcohol dependent shall we say? Yes I’ve had my ups and downs as you know I have! I’ve come on leaps and bounds also. Going away will be a challenge in a sort of sense because of all the alcohol surrounding me but I shall just take a baclofen if I have any cravings!
The upside to this is I cannot remember the last time I went away and did not get drunk??? So I’m looking forward to that to be honest and being with my partner for a week on our own! In the 4 and bit years we have been together we have never had that and I have never been sober so it should be nice? I shall take my laptop and update regularly or as I can. Anne if you are reading, I got that book you told me to get “Grow your own drugs” so shall read and come up with a plan whilst away.

05/07/09
I didn’t do much today, watched the Wimbledon final and sorted some stuff out for the cruise, and had a general tidy up. Still on around 240 mg, all through the day until around midnight I take up to 210 mg from 30 + mg doses and then if I get the slightest urge or feel myself becoming anxious I take another 30 mg late. My mood is definitely improving and beginning to rise! I’m so glad.

06/07/09
OK so this is my last post before I leave for the hotel. I really need to recharge and come back and get my head down into some serious money making, I always find it’s a good time to think and come up with ideas as you relax. So good luck to everyone and I shall update from the ship or an Internet cafe.

11/07/09
Hi all, i hope everyone is OK? i managed to get logged on so can update daily. I done something amazing on the way here! i made the entire journey here without a single drop of alcohol! that's my my first time as an adult flying without alcohol!!! shall update again this evening as I'm going to see the leaning tower of Pisa.

Evening.
OK so I've seen the tower and it's quite amazing and considering it's age, they started it in the late 1100's. So since the cruise i have had 1 bitter and 1 lager and no cravings, if a slight thought entered my head i had a baclofen and never let a craving start. i feel a lot better than i have been and i have no desire to ruin it by drinking! The cruise has gone so quick it's amazing, i think i am going to have to have another break in August as this has been a good relaxing remedy for me. i took 180mgs of baclofen on the journey over but that's a lot better than drinking. Oh and I've lost a stone and my mood is coming good, so I'm more optimistic once again so I'm coming back to being happy i think ??? In Monaco in the morning so shall update early evening.

12/07/09

Lovely day today, on the beach as couldn't get the train into the main towns. had a couple of pints of lager with our lunch, no cravings at all. I'm very reluctant to drink to be honest as it serves no purpose at all anymore! and i never ever want to relapse again. Back on Tuesday unfortunately! But have really enjoyed the rest. on 180mg/210mg and feel a lot better.

13/07/09

Last day today. really have enjoyed this and cant bare the thought of going back to reality! but i have to. Had a good think about how I'm going to progress financially once back so that's been a big bonus. it's amazing how a break can make you come to your senses and see things that you cant or haven't when at home. i have realized how i need to reprogramme my self again for my new life after alcohol and how i have been so concerned about it that i have sort of lost sight of my goals! i think i can say that baclofen has and is definitely helping me beat alcoholism and i should now start to build my self back into the successful entrepreneur i am.

15/07/09
So I’m back! Feeling a bit low as you do when you come back from the sea and sun and missing my partner already. Straight back to work though as I need to start building some money up. I’ve got three products I sell online so I am looking to add another 3 to 5 products so they pull in £100 + a day on average every day combined. Then I’m going to concentrate on making my sports trading pay. My first target being around £50.00 a day and then up from there. Some of the good professional traders I’ve had the fortune of meeting are on £1500/£5000 + a day! A personal friend of mine that trades the stock market is on £5000 on a bad day! Although he has started to show me the ropes I need to get my bank ready before I can start. So if any readers have any ideas or have any products I can sell online drop me an e-mail? Back to baclofen I took another 180 mg on the journey home although I did have three of the small cans of Stella whilst at the Airport before I boarded, why? I don’t know really it’s just because I was going home I suppose, definitely not out of craving. Once I did get back home I was OK I suppose and no more beers. So that’s the least I’ve ever had drunk on holiday as an adult and all due to baclofen. And my side effects have definitely reduced since lowering my dose. Each day I took 180 mg to 210 mg. And only ever had the odd pint and never a session. I have regained my confidence using baclofen once again. Although I am sporadically a bit low I do not think that’s solely the baclofen, maybe a bit but definitely not all. Also I need to start to reprogram my mind and be positive once again and I think that’s going to help immensely. The learning curve using baclofen had definitely run me down on occasion but I think I am over the worst of it and I think I can build my life up again now after alcoholism?

16/07/09
Even though my cruise already seems like a distant memory it really done me good! I feel better in myself and my mood seems to be more energetic. I was trying to work today but my sports trading program I was using seemed very slow and I was unable to trade properly! Bloody annoying. So hopefully a better day on Friday or I am taking the weekend off. No beer today and no cravings! I am on 180 mg so may drop down to 160 mg on Monday.

17/07/09
A busy start to the day doing one thing or another. An annoying day regarding sports trading, the program I’m using is still running sluggish making trading virtually impossible! Took a deposit for a house that I have let out for a year, so that’s good. If I can’t do any other work Saturday I shall go out for the day. Had one beer today normal strength as I was early for an appointment, I could have easily done without it if I have had some baclofen with me, didn’t drink anything else though.

18/07/09
I think this was the most boring Saturday I can remember! I worked all day like a buffoon for absolutely no reward, I was supposed to be seeing my partner but that fell through, so I got some rubbish to eat and stayed in. No beer today and no cravings! Having a day off from the desk Sunday, and I think I shall just relax, amazing isn’t it, last Sunday I was on the beach in Monaco! A week later I am in England in the rain as usual!

20/07/09
My apologies for no post yesterday, I stayed at my partners so couldn’t update, although she’s getting broadband. A quiet day all in all, got a couple of DVDs out and had a kebab in the evening [really healthy] and had an early night. No beers and no cravings. Back to the desk today, and made a bit more progress sports trading and I’m coming up with a few original ideas to make some more money....

21/07/09
Another pretty uneventful day, I cannot get the hang of the sports trading and it’s doing my head in, so I think I’m going to go back to doing my old system. I’m not a quitter at all but I can’t afford to lose money trying to learn something at the moment, so once I have built up some decent size bank again I shall have a serious look at it. I actually went to the gym this evening even though I wasn’t in the mood, and when I got there I fancied it even less, had a swim and a quick go in the steam room though. No beer and absolutely no cravings.

24/07/09

My computer crashed last night so no update! guy is coming to fix later, on lap top, so going to do a mammoth update tonight about everything and all things baclofen and me.

Still no desktop so on my laptop for a couple of days. Shall do the big update as soon as. Still no beers or cravings and not tempted at all lately. On 160mgs

26/07/09
A thorough update for you as promised, and once again apologies for the delay I'm still on my laptop as my main PC is not ready until Tuesday.

So I have been on baclofen for four months on the third of August. Has it changed my life? Yes absolutely! Was it easy? Yes sometimes other times a complete nightmare. Do I recommend it for curing alcoholism? Absolutely yes. Was Dr. Ameisen telling the truth in his book? I have read and reread various chapters and it is as he says although my baclofen journey seems to be harder than his!

So 4 months down the road and baclofen has helped me in more ways than one! As well as it curing my alcoholism it has curbed my chronic anxiety and panic attacks! It helps me sleep and relax in general! After being on 300 mg for 6 weeks my cravings are virtually nonexistent as a result. I'm on 150 mg at the moment and I think I should be able to come down to around 90/100 mg and 50 mg in emergencies! Something definitely changed staying on 300 mg for that month and a half. But believe me if you have read my blog since the beginning 300 mg a day was a severe test of stamina! My whole personality was as flat as a pancake! I totally lost my drive to do anything at all, I mean I couldn't even be bothered to talk to anyone! I lost my sex drive completely and that is only recovering lately. Also I encountered somnolence, breathlessness, aching joints, nausea, weight gain and depression. I was having serious doubts about baclofen and started to think that being happily drunk was far better than feeling like I did! But the worse one was the depression, I felt so down in the dumps, I just wanted it all over! Honestly, I was that blue, I prayed for a head on collision, some sort of accident, anything, as I couldn't do it myself and let everyone down! But I didn't quit, I kept my faith in kicking the crap out of alcoholism! And listened to my doctor and I’ve made it to the other side, I think? Obviously don't let that put you off, everyone is different and my side effects certainly do not mean they are going to be the same for you. But you have to remember, I was willing to go through all off that to cure my alcoholism! Are you ready to make that sort of commitment to yourself? And for your family and loved ones? Dr. Ameisen seemed to have it a lot easier than me in regard to baclofen and side effects, so I can only hope it's going to be the same for you, and it's a nice and easy with no side effects at all??? One other thing that does take some serious consideration is what do you do with the new alcohol free you? All of a sudden my 16 year habit stopped existing in the manner it always had and you need to be ready for that as well. It may sound ridiculous now but seriously you need to plan for it.
So on the bright side I am living life without alcohol and that has been my goal for years but baclofen made it possible! I feel healthier and people notice that and comment I look healthier; I can get on a plane without alcohol, I can go on journeys in the motor without having to have a beer, I can go into a restaurant and enjoy the food without alcohol, I can do everyday things without alcohol ruling me. I am the boss of alcohol and alcohol is definitely no longer in charge of me. That's what I had wished for for years. And when things didn't look that good and baclofen didn't seem to be doing its job I didn't quit, I dug in and cracked on. I also had the love and support from my partner and that's certainly helped get me through the tough times, maybe I might have quit if it wasn't for her? So if you are thinking of starting on baclofen don't give up if it doesn't go according to plan instantly! And don't blame your doctor or yourself. Take it easy and remember all the crap I went through. And never lose site of the stronger ultra improved person you are going to be once you have cured your alcoholism.

28/07/09
I have been staying at my partners quite a bit recently so apologies for the late update again. She is going to order broadband so then things will be easier. I went to the gym yesterday and again today, I forgot how much I enjoy it. After I’d finished swimming I went to pick up my computer, all day I was running around doing my personal chores. It’s amazing really, in April I could have done none of this due to my alcohol and anxiety! Yet today I drove 60 miles + and I felt really good doing it on my own without alcohol.

30/07/09
So it’s a fortnight and no beer or cravings and on ½ the dose I was initially on. 150 mg I stayed on for a couple of weeks after coming down from 300 mg, yesterday I took 130 mg and I shall stay on this for a couple more weeks and use 50 mg in emergencies although I haven’t had to do that to date. Hopefully I can get down 90/100 mg and 50 mg in emergencies. I feel much better than I did on 300 mg and I do think that my craving pattern altered during those high doses? And I think research in this area is vital to help understand and benefit addiction treatment. Also if they can come up with a solution to eliminate any depression before it starts I think baclofen is going to be a real winner and hopefully help many other addicts in general. My partner and I have a friend over from Canada that I’m cooking for on Friday, she’s are real big drinker! My partner has already told her that I rarely drink any more and I’m considering buying non alcoholic beer and disguising it to keep her happy. She drinks vodka as well and she’s only ever known me to have a serious drink. I do not consider it a test of willpower at all, it’s more a test of integrity because I already know I do not need or want to get drunk.